A Court of Wind and Shadows
by AliceSylph
Summary: After the events of A Court of Mist and Fury, a new character falls head first into the Night Court's fight. Still adjusting to this new land, she finds a life her mother left behind and must navigate to her destiny. To do so however, Katherina has to swim through the politics and violence of Prythian if she is to keep her head above water.
1. Chapter 1

**A fan fiction based on the story of ACOTAR at the end of book 2 (ACOMAF). Will contain *spoilers" and will use information already established. If you haven't read both books, stay clear.**

This is simply a story about a character coming into the world straight after the events of the last book. It will not try to resolve the main story lines but will add and interact with them throughout. Not sure how long this story will go on, so stay tuned if liked.

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CHAPTER ONE

Smoke filled my lungs, stinging my eyes so the tears burned. Screaming and shouting mixed together into the darkness that enveloped me and dragged me under. The land my mother sang, painted and read fairy tales about became my only thought, shutting out my life in this world and dragging me to somewhere new.

Bright sky, full of green and blue and yellow filled my vision. But the air tightened on my body, suffocating my smoke filled lungs and electricity sparked against my skin. I knew I had to get out. There was so little energy left but if I stayed here I would die. I didn't want to know the owner of these land; I knew things had changed in 500 years. I didn't want to be here.

I took a hesitant step, my legs screaming against the movement. I pulled myself though the darkness, the void tugging me into unconsciousness. I fought it; if I gave up in here the air I forced into me would falter and I would be lost. I pulled and pulled, my head screaming and darkness filling my vision till I no longer knew if my eyes were forced open or closed shut.

The bright light of white, cream and wood answered my question before I could even ask it. The smell of blood and sweat filled my nose, pushing out the smoke and burning flesh from within. Black figures shuddered against the bright white, my eyes already beginning to fail with the edges blurring to darkness.

"Sanctuary," I pleaded to the buried lines, "Sanctuary."

I felt myself going under the black pressure of exhaustion when a whisper sounded against the piercing scream, "Reinette?" I had come to the right place.

A rope jerked at my chest, the smell of blood and a lingering heavy poison filling my head as it became harder and harder to stay upright. I willed my eyes to focus on the black shadow lying on the floor: a hole in his chest, the body hanging onto a shredded cloak, two slender figures hanging over them. The pain and hurt pulled at my stomach, making me want to vomit. As I felt the darkness pull over my brain, I filtered all my remaining energy down the rope, hoping it found the pain and healed.

I felt my legs give up more than hearing the crack of my body against the hard wooden floors.

-Break-

My senses were working faster, stronger than ever before. Sound ripped through my sleep: laughing, singing, cracking wood, hushed voices, footsteps back and forth so close to my feet. The familiar smells of baking bread and fresh linen mixing together with burning and sweat. Panic wretched at me, waiting for the smoke and screaming to come forward but it never did. The hushed voices continued however, so I focused on them, singling them out of the chaos.

"She's freezing," a strong female voice said through the haze, "She's dying Rhys, the energy it took her to get here, it's killing her. Never mind what she did for Azriel, and Cassian."

"I know Mor! I'm trying, I am, but I don't know what more I can do. A healer can't help her; all I can do is keep the fire burning."

I willed my eyes to open, only to shut out the bright light that filled my silted vision. A small groan escaped my lips, my throat burning in response. The footsteps stopped suddenly, then came hastily towards my head.

"Who are you?!" demanded the male, "How did you get in this house?!"

I tried so hard to will my eyes to defy the light and open. A sliver of colour bored into my brain; focusing was not easy. Finally, my eyes were able to distinguish a male, dressed mostly in black with a stern face and messy hair. His violet eyes pierced across his paled skin, vibrant above the black shadows that lay under his shallow sockets. The female on the other hand was flawless, with golden hair that shined as it flowed down to a loose light red top and pants.

"Who are you?!" he demanded again. I tried to answer but my throat tightened, protesting against the air pushing through it.

"Go easy on her Rhys, she's almost dead..."

"I need to know how she got into the house! If there's a weakness for our enemies to exploit... How does she even know where we are unless she's from Hybern?"

"If she was sent her to kill us, she wouldn't have arrived half dead and healed Azriel! Never mind requesting sanctuary! Get your head straight Rhysand!" She didn't shout, but ordered, trying to force her voice to break up his tangled thoughts, "She's not from Hybern… She looks so much like Reinette…"

Pain spiked my heart at the sound of her name, the way that female was saying it with so much love.

"Reinette," I managed to squeeze out through my hoarse voice, "You knew Reinette?"

She drifted closer to my face till I could see her soft skin and full lips, "Yes. How do you know that name?"

"My mother; Reinette was my mother."

She pulled back fast, pulling in a quick breath in the process. "How? Reinette, she died in the war, she had no offspring." Her voice trembled, hope and pain mixed together, "This cannot be true, do not lie about such things."

I felt the thick exhaustion start to pull me under. I had to try and soothe the woman who talked about her with such love. "She didn't die in the war, she left to have me." I tried so hard to keep my breathing even.

"Where? Where is she?" The female's voice choked on her words.

Before my heart and head could form an answer, the dishevelled male demanded again, "Who are you?"

I had just the energy to force out my name before being pulled under.

"Katherina."

-Break-

The second time I was able to pull myself out of heavy sleep, the sounds, smells and varying lights were less intense but still took a number of minutes to adjust. The heat rolled from the fireplace till it reached in every corner of the room. I waited for panic to set in, but the flames didn't lick at me like in my home and the air felt fresh and light. Despite the heat, my body shivered against my will as I pulled the blankets up closer to my face.

"How are you feeling?" The female from before was sat in a cream cushioned chair near the end of the bed. I remembered how her voice was coated with love at the sound of my mother's name; I decided quickly she was not an enemy.

"Cold." Was all I could manage before wincing against the soreness of my throat.

As she saw my pain, she brought over a glass of milk, helping to tip the soothing liquid into my mouth and down my throat while idling saying, "You must have been in quite a fire, we washed you of most of the ash but you'll need a bath as soon as you are well enough."

"We?" My thought rushed to the male that was here, the thought of him _washing_ me.

"Me and the handmaidens." I breathed a sigh of relief. Her mouth hinted at a smile before her eyebrows pulled inwards. "You're Reinette's daughter?"

"You knew her?"

She looked towards the fire and in a sorrowful voice said, "Yes I knew her. She was a close friend of mine. When she died – supposedly died – it was one of the worst losses in the war. I had hoped somehow she had managed to escape, that'd she'd come back safe and still smiling. I would forgive her for that. It's good to know she had at least a bit happiness if she had a daughter."

It made my heart ache to hear her talk of my mother, it had been hundreds of years since I had heard anyone talk about her even remotely like that. "She got pregnant in the war. She told me she hated leaving everything behind but she didn't know the outcome. She died 200 years after…" I felt a tear threaten to fall as I tried not to remember her smile.

The female nodded at nothing after a moment before turning back to me, face stern. "I'm Morrigan, member of the Night Court. I need to know how you managed to get into this town, in this house."

"My mother, she taught me how winnow. The magic here is stronger, more vibrant than where I had been practicing. It still took a lot out of me." She looked at me, waiting for more answers I realised. "My mother told me about this place. Said if I ever needed to escape, to come to the place she told me about."

That seem enough to her for the moment as she fell back into the chair, eyes still focused on my face. "Katherina. That is your name, right?"

"Yes."

She breathed heavily, "Welcome to the Night Court. As you can tell, the High Lord granted you sanctuary. We do require more information from you but because of who you claim to be and aiding in our court members' injuries, you are welcome to stay here until you have fully recovered. This is of course providing you do not hurt anyone in our lands and we do not discover you are a spy."

"Thank you," was all I could manage as I tried to process all the words that flowed out. The words floated through my head: _sanctuary_. I was safe for at least a while. Relief rushed down my body, making me light-headed.

"Thank you Katherina, for Cassian's wings. We were so worried he would lose them. He would have rather died…" Her eyes glazed over.

"Wings?"

"Yes. When you got here we were trying to heal their wounds. You were able to heal Azriel fully before you passed out. With him healed, we were able use our combined magic to fully restore his wings. He might have lost a little feeling in them as the healer took longer than we thought to get to him but least he'll be able to fly still."

Wings? The cloak; could that have been wings? But men with wings? It took me longer than I'd like to admit to remember my mother telling me about them: "Illyrians."

"Yes."

I didn't have the energy to attempt to hold idle conversation. I honestly just wanted to sleep. "I'm sorry Morrigan, but I'm so tired"

"That's ok, your fever is going down. But you should really eat…" A plate of hot bacon appeared next to me. The overwhelming smell instantly turned my stomach. I couldn't warn her before I vomited on the floor.

Darkness pulled me under yet again.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

I awoke this time alone in the room. The number of blankets on me had been considerably reduced, with the fire lessened to a gentle warmth. I sat up, my head and arms protesting at the movement. A few moments leaning against the headboard had stopped the room spinning. It was beautiful, the room I was in, full of cream, ivory and darkened wood. A chair sat next to an open window, blowing in the smells of the town outside. There was a large wardrobe and vanity table on either side of the fireplace on the far wall. Two doors left the room, one to the side of the large double bed I now lay in, the other next the wardrobe. Two side tables were situated either side of the bed, the one closest to me adorned with a glass of water along with a piece of paper. As I pulled the note closer, my eyes focused on the words:

 _A bath has been made up for when you awaken. Clothes have been put into the wardrobe. Come down when you are ready._

 _Morrigan_

I just sat there for a further minute. My necklace felt cold against my clammy skin for the first time. When I finally had pulled in enough air to function, I began to sit at the edge of the bed. My muscles protested heavily, making me dizzy by the time my feet were brushing the floor. A couple of mouthfuls of air had me standing, leaning against the wall to keep me steady. Walking hesitance steps to the window was worth the pain when I leaned out, eyes closed. The breeze brushing against my face settled my mind. The air allowed my head to organise my thoughts. _How long had I been here?_

It was a question I decided could wait. The bath however, could not. I glanced at the two doors and prayed it was the closest one. I silently thanked the wind as I opened the door to find a small wash room, steam rising from the bath. I could have cried with happiness, the thought of having that warm water soak my aching bones. It was too hot but I still moaned as I lowered myself in.

I didn't even care how much time I spent lying in there, I could have spent all day with my head raised slightly above the water, floating. My hair spilled around my body, tingling my back, sides and hips every now and then. My silver necklace flowed above my chest, swimming calmly. The water drowned out the overpowering sounds of this place. My mother warned me the land here was different but I wasn't expecting this. My senses were on high alert, so much more powerful than ever before. My magic too, it was so strong. As I played with the steam, pushing and flowing the air to create swirls, I almost caused the bath to trip over with the force of the wind. When I had finally been able to create simple patterns and gotten used to controlling this wealth of power, I decided the bath was too cold to lay here any longer. When I sat up and realised it was certainly time to get out, the grey water no longer looking appealing at all.

My long hair dripped across the tiled floor as I wrapped the white, fluffy towel hanging across the bath around my thin body. Blushing for a split second at the thought of spying eyes, I pushed the thought away as I couldn't feel the presence of another person near. I could smell them though. A mix of women and men had filtered in and out of this room. Morrigan; she had been here not long ago. But someone else too, the smell of crisp night air and something heavily sweet lingered. I brushed away the smells and crossed back the bedroom.

Opening the wardrobe, I found a variation of trousers, tops and dresses along with nightgowns and bathrobes in an array of colours. Running my hand along them told me that most were made from silk or gossamer. It had been so long since I had worn such clothing, I was overwhelmed. I pulled out the safest looking outfit: a long, deep purple jumper and black pants. I was heavily considering wearing no shoes as I absolutely abhorred them, but I decided on politeness over comfort. A pair of silken slip-ons hung from my hands as I dragged myself over the vanity. I sat on the stool, picked up a comb and began on my mess of a hair.

Someone must have brushed it while I had been sleeping otherwise it would have been in much worst condition. I studied the reflection as I combed. My face had become gaunt and shallow, but I guess I had been asleep for quite a while, at least a week without food. My lips were cracked and small against my full nose. My pale skin appeared thin, allowing the scar down my nose to show clearly. I let myself feel disgust at the sight of it. Even my eyes seemed dulled, the usual bright blue had clouded. Least my fear of my hair being burn was not a reality. I moved the warmed air from the ember remains of the fire – I must have been in that bath for a number of hours – to circle my hair. As it dried, the bright ginger colour came through. I brushed it thoroughly, swinging it round to one side.

My hair was the one part of me that was mine. My eyes and sweet-heart face was my mothers, my mouth and nose my fathers. But my hair, that was all mine. Neither of them had my bright ginger colouring; my mother's own hair being muted to a strawberry-blonde and my father's mousey brown. I had grown it down to my ankles for a couple hundred years, but these last thirty years it sat comfortably on my hips. I braided it in quick, practiced movements till it was done all the way down. I tried to look for some lip balm but the amount of pots filled with foreign products had me hesitating. I decided to make it my mission to drink as much water as possible to restore my lips to a state where I wasn't afraid of them bleeding with every movement.

The thought of water quickly led to food and my stomach growled as though it had only just woken. I looked out of the window for signs of time, the sun was lowering towards dust. Dinner couldn't be far behind. Tugging on the flimsy shoes and stretching my muscles one last time, I gathered myself to leave the room in search of food.

The hallway was in a similar fashion as the bedroom, aside from the carpet being replaced by hardwood flooring. My feet whispered against it as I walked down to the stairs. I had to steady myself before attempting the first step, but my body did not fail me. As she must have heard my movements, Morrigan was waiting at the foot of the steps, smiling.

"It's good to see you up and about, Katherina. Hope the bath was alright. I didn't put anything in it but a little soap. Wasn't too sure when you'd be up."

"She has drawn a bath every day for the last week hoping you would be ready to wake up." _A week._ The male from the first time I awoke came out of the adjoining room, only this time looking a little less tired and much neater. His black outfit remained however, stark against Morrigan's bright blue flowing dress.

"This is Rhysand, Katherina, High Lord of the Night Court. And my stupid cousin."

I haltered on the stairs. He clearly noticed my hesitation, "My father was High Lord during the war, I am now. Nice to meet you Katherina."

If Morrigan hadn't been there, standing so casually next to him, I would have hesitated to finish my descent. "Thank you, for accepting my request for sanctuary." Was the most I could manage. This close to them, I could _feel_ the power running off them.

"I had no reason not to. If aiding my brothers wasn't proof enough, your relation to Reinette would have stopped any of us from hurting you."

Before I could explain I didn't even know I could heal someone, my stomach growled louder than before.

"Time for dinner?" Morrigan smiled at my stomach as I felt my cheeks warm.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me into the next room. The wooden dining tables were already laid with clean china with an individual pie on each plate. Morrigan and Rhysand sat across from each other, Morrigan motioning me to sit next to her. Heart beating fast in my chest, I steadily lowered into the wide chair. The chair was comfortable despite the odd way it had been fashioned, with large slits in the back. I just sat there, staring at the pie, feeling so embarrassed. When they broke the outer shell, the smell hit me strongly, turning my stomach over. It repulsed me so strongly, more than usual due to my empty stomach. My drained face and wrinkled nose clearly wasn't disgusted as well as I tried.

"What's wrong?" Morrigan questioned, worry drawing her eyebrows in.

"Nothing." I lied, clearly as badly as I thought with Morrigan cocking her head in response. "I don't want to be rude," Rhysand looked up at that, focusing intensely on my face, "but I don't eat cooked meat."

Embarrassment rushed to my face as they both laughed. "Really?" burst Morrigan, "Why?"

"It doesn't agree with my stomach." I stared at my lap, "I only eat fish, other cooked meat makes me sick."

Again they both laughed, "I've never met a High Fae that doesn't eat meat!" Morrigan's eyes sparkled at the sight of her cousin laughter, in a way that made me doubt the frequency of this sound.

Right on cue, his eyes glazed over again and his face hardened. "Don't worry about it, I'll make note of it."

As I opened my mouth to ask if I should try to find something else, my hunger pushing my thought process, Rhysand waved his hand as the meat pie on my plate was replaced by a salmon fillet surrounded by vegetables. My eyes widened as I stared at my plate.

"How did you do that?" I asked aghast.

They merely looked at me in confusion. I didn't care enough to press further as my stomach caught the scent of the salmon. I picked up my cutlery and dug in. I knew my mother would be disappointed at my lack of manners while being a guest in this beautiful house, but honestly it was lucky I remembered not to use my hands.

After I finished my plate in record time, I looked up to Morrigan hiding a smile. I blushed heavily, looking back down to my lap.

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be, you must be starving after not eating for nearly a month."

"A month?" _A month!_ I thought a little over a week tops, not a whole month!

"Yeah, we kept you drinking water but every time we gave you food you would vomit it back up."

Before I could apologise again for the trouble, there was a knock at the front door. It was more similar to a bang, getting louder with every hit.

"Stop hiding her Mor, we know she's awake." A deep male voice shouted through the wood.

Sighing, they both stood up going to the door. Morrigan motioned me to join them.

"You will have to meet them sooner or later." She mumbled.

As Rhysand opened the door, two men stood in the doorway. One – clearly the one responsible for the banging – was muscle. That was the best word I could find in my head to describe him. The tight material of his dark clothes outlined his muscles clearly, running across his chest so closely I wondered if it would rip if he breathed out too fast. His hands and lower arms were strapped in by a harness that held a red gem on each hand. The other man was also muscular, but much leaner. Shadows danced in this outline, making me file away questions in my mind for later. The gem on his hand slightly glowed a colour I can only describe as the blue of the sky on a clear day. But my gaze was drawn to what was behind them.

 _Wings._

I moved fast, faster than any of them could process, as I crossed to those magnificent black wings. Before he could move back, my hand was on the glossy feathers. Running my fingers slowly over the wing made my heart jump. In that moment, all I could sense was the delicate feathers under my touch. Thoughts rushed in my mind quickly: _Flying. They can fly! I wonder what that's like? To feel the wind lighter, stronger than down on land. Does it taste differently up there? The light, what is it like being caught between the light of land and the sun? Flying between the sea and sky, seeing yourself in that reflection, just you and the stars above. Why ever walk again?_

I snapped back to reality quickly as the man next the me shuddered and failed in holding back a deep growl. Retracting my hand took effort, but the atmosphere of the room told me I should. The look of the Illyrian's face told me I had crossed a line. I blushed heavily, heating my face uncomfortably. I backed away a step before the Illyrian grabbed my wrist with a scarred hand.

"So you're Katherina?" His voice sounded as smooth as silk. The movement of his mouth was subtle, only slightly moving the smooth planes of his face. Hazel eyes looked at me through sharp ebony bangs, amusement hinting in his eyes.

 _I wonder what it's like to see him smile._

The thought came to me so quickly it made me look at my feet as another wave of embarrassment flowed through me. I backed away again as his grip loosened, backing further till the banister hit me hard.

"Illyrian wings are sensitive." Rhysand explained through booming laughter. The person it belonged to stood tall, bumping his friend on the shoulder.

"Don't be so embarrassed Katherina, it's not a bad feeling. You're lucky Azriel is so controlled, I've seen Illyrian males jump on a female for simply breathing on his wing."

"Katherina, this is Cassian and Azriel." Morrigan said, gesturing to each in turn. Her face had turned, hardened as she looked between us. I guess what I had done was strict taboo.

"I apologise." I whispered.

"You can touch mine if you'd like." Cassian said with a wink, "they've lost a bit of sensitivity but I still have them because of you."

Despite the suggesting nature of his words, his eyes clearly showed his was grateful. I didn't have the heart to tell him it was wasn't aimed at him. Wasn't aimed at anyone really. Just chance.

"Morrigan told me that I was able to help. I'm glad it helped your wings."

"Help? I hardly had any left!" A shadow moved over Cassian at the thought. "And to think I'd never feel a female touch it again." Another wink.

"Give it a break Cas, you'll make her want to pass out again." She gave me an amused look, "and call me Mor."

"It's ok, Mor" I said without thinking, instantly regretting the words as a broad smile plastered Cassian's face. "I mean, not like that…" Blush found my cheeks again. "It's nice to meet you Cassian, and Azriel."

"Cas." He corrected me. "How about you come dancing with us tonight?" He wiggled his eyebrows at Mor.

"Katherina has just awoken after a month unconscious, don't think she's quite ready for a night out in Velaris with drunk Cas." Azriel said with a smirk.

"Velaris?"

Mor turned to me, amused. "Yes, that's where you are. Reinette told about the place but never told you the name?"

"Not really. She told me about the Courts…" I sounded as clueless as I feared I was. "She described places so I could travel here if I needed to."

"Velaris has been a Night Court secret for generations. Your mother was the only person outside this court that knew about it."

"Thanks to Mor's drunken lack of self-control." Rhysand added.

"Come on Rhys, you didn't mind so much. It's Ren after all!"

 _Was._

I felt the word hanging in the air. Now it wasn't my turn to look at my feet. I had to break this air as no one else would.

"Is that where the singing is coming from?"

"Singing?" Rhysand asked.

"Yes." I answered, confused. "I can hear it from the room I woke up in." Now confused masked everyone's face. Mor opened her mouth to question, but I was too quick. "Doesn't matter. My senses are a bit mixed up since waking." I hoped it sounded genuine. But I could still hear it, a male singing solo, his voice sounding strange, eerie, but beautiful.

 _File it away._

Another round of awkward silence.

"Please stop trying to get in my head, it's giving me a headache." I'd been feeling it since he appeared at the bottom of the stairs. Pawing at my head, slowly tapping and feeling for a way in. And I had not given it to him.

They all looked at me in confusion. Apart from Rhysand, he quickly softened his face. "Sorry Katerina, your walls are very strong but I thought I had been subtle enough for you not to notice."

Azriel's face showed an air of disappointment but Mor spoke up, "Rhys! She's a guest! And Ren's daughter! Stop it." She didn't shout.

I wonder why my mother never told me about Morrigan. But she never really told me about anyone. And I had never asked.

Sadness must had been all over my face as she promised with a small smile, "I'll take you into Velaris tomorrow. It's beautiful. Your mother adored it all..." She trailed off.

"Thank you."

I honestly didn't have the energy to be social any more. And even if I had been fully recovered, I didn't want to be here. The last three hundred years I had spent alone, expect one person, and he was only there for the last ten. Social interactions exhaust me.

"Katherina should get more sleep."

I wasn't expecting Azriel to speak for me. But there he was, reading my face behind my mask, giving me a silent nod.

No one else seemed to notice the interaction as Cassian suggested that I should stay in his bed. Mor gave a sniggering response, that was met by more banter. I had a feeling this was how conversations usually went between these two.

"She can stay here for now." Was all Rhysand had to say.

"See you tomorrow." I mumbled before turning to retreat upstairs.

I heard their footsteps move through the house below me, banter echoing between Mor and Cassian. Something inside me felt it used to echo between all four of them once, that this house was hardly ever quiet. I wonder what had changed.

Shutting the door helped, but not as much as I had hoped. The overload my senses were going through almost made me vomit. And I was so tired of feeling like that. I almost ran to the window, needing the air to clear my head. I pulled it around me like a curtain to the outside world, blocking out the sounds, smells, sights and tastes of this land. I breathed in, filling my lungs, my body, my brain. My magic was stronger than it had ever been. My mother had warned me but I still had no idea it would be like this.

I feel the tears on my cheek before I registered I was crying. Thoughts of my mother flooded in my mind. Not only my loss, but hers. She told me stories of this land, throughout the years moulding them into her history. But she never told me about her personal life. About friends, family or where she had lived. Morrigan had said she wasn't from the Night Court, then which one? I believed she had come from one of the Courts she told me to run to. The feel of the Spring Court though, it wasn't anything like her.

I truly had no idea of my mother's life before me. Two hundred years, that was it. I don't even know how old she was, how much of her life was taken up by me? Just a faction?

The tears stopped rolling as the wind died down. I was done crying.

I breathed in one last time.

Then fell into bed and slept deeply.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

Products had appeared by the bath overnight: an array of salts, soaps and milks. I opened each one and smelled them, some taking my interest and others being discarded immediately. The handmaidens that had been made to serve me were trying to find out my preference. I felt so uncomfortable thinking of having _maids_. Once my mother had died, I relieved all of my servants, hating them wandering around the house for just me and having to use most of my magic weaving illusions to keep them from questioning my lack of ageing. While it had left me severely lacking in social skills for three hundred years, it allowed me to not feel awkward around people serving me. I just hope these handmaidens don't wish to _dress_ me.

I finally decided on a salt that tickled my feet, a cherry milk that soothed my dry skin and a soap that left me smelling of sweet apples. Again, I lay in the hot water, playing with the steam rising to fill the room. I formed it into a jungle, with a leopard prowling through the trees and monkeys swinging in the branches. I let this scene play out in front of me while I imagined the sounds. Then thoughts began running through my mind again: _I wonder what jungles are like in these lands? And what of the animals? Do they even have cats?_

I let those thoughts melt into the water as the scene fell apart. Having grown bored of the chilled bath, I left it and dried myself, wrapping the towel around me as I opened the door. Two dark faces looked back at me. The women looked shrouded in shadows, blending into the darkness around them. They were attractive but dressed in such a way that identified them as the ones who had drawn my bath. I attempted to hide a sigh as I saw they had made the bed too.

"We are Nuala."

"Cerridwen."

It was clear they were unnaturally joined; from the way they spoke to the way they moved with each other. They seemed to dance from the light, using slight movements to keep themselves shaded. I walked over to the wardrobe and began to run through the choices.

"We have laid out usual Night Court fashion for your outing."

"We thought a silver coloured blouse with…"

They trailed off as they read the look on my face. I tried to be polite but I honestly wanted to throw them out of the room. I swallowed before attempting my refusal.

"Thank you both for… this. But it's really not needed. I can dress myself…"

They both looked at each other, seeming unsure how to deal with this situation.

"We'll come back when you are dressed."

"For the hair."

"No!" I almost shouted as they began to fade from my sight, "I can do my own hair, really."

"… Then what exactly do you want us to do for you?"

I knew asking them to do nothing would be rude so I tried to form a sentence the same way my mother would, "The bath was lovely, and thank you for making the bed." Adding a smile, "But, I rather choose my own clothes and style my own hair for now. At least until I become more… Comfortable."

They looked at each other again before bowing their heads slightly at me, "Breakfast has been set."

They faded into the wall before I could tell them there's no need to bow. I shook my head and remembered to ask Mor about what ability they had to be able to mask presence like that. I pulled another oversized jumper on and fashioned my hair the same as yesterday. And again, I didn't dare venture into the products. Instead my head went to food that had supposedly been laid out downstairs.

The house was almost lifeless despite that singing that flowed throughout. I wandered down to the dining room to find a spread of food laid across the table. The dining table hosted an array of breakfast items, ranging from cooked eggs, chocolate filled pastries, porridge with honey and a large bowl of fruit. I noticed however it was only set for one person. With a sigh, I picked up the note left by the placemat.

 _Katherina, I apologise for leaving you today but we were called away for inner court business. Will be back soon. Cerridwen and Nuala have been informed they are to accommodate you in whatever you need._

 _Morrigan_

I left the dining room, deciding to explore. There was a lush living area complete with a grand marbled fireplace and cushioned chairs that I now understood accommodated wings. There was a rather large bookcase that shelfed what looked like old histories and battle strategy information coated in the small layer of dust. I longed for the books in my old home; the largest room filled with books of fantasy and adventure that held the smell of paper and ink but never _dust_. Having lost my curiosity, I turned away from the memory and headed back to the dining room. Surprised by my lack of hunger, I dumped familiar looking fruits – blackberries, sliced melon, raspberries and grapes – into a bowl. I sniffed the yogurt before pouring it on top and drizzled honey over it all. Wondering to the roof and finding a white table and chairs, I set it down and stared at the sky.

The day was bright and free, the chilly breeze pushing through any heat the lingered ever-so-slightly in the still air. Sitting down, the view was restricted by the rooftop wall, so instead I stared at the sky. Spooning honey-dipped sweet fruits and thick, tart yogurt to coat my dry throat, the clouds moved across the sky. They took turns briefly hiding the sun so a deep chill ran over my skin. Never failing to make me shiver and raise the skin on my arms, I let my mind wander to the warmth of my jungle. I hadn't moved there for the climate and it took a number of years to adapt to change from dry chill to humid heat. I had never been able to find the correct median though, always either too hot or too cold. It seemed the same would be true of here also; I was just too difficult to please clearly.

After scrapping the last of the mingled fruit juices and honeyed yogurt from the bowl, I set it down on the table. I debated what to do with my day alone. I figured I could go out into Velaris but I didn't want to overstep my boundaries here for fear of being turned out. I could just eat all day but that thought turned my stomach ever so slightly. Grumbling over the lack of freedom, hunger or interesting literature to indulge in, I resigned to staring at the sky for the rest of the day. It got boring quickly.

"Eternity can be very boring." A deep voice spoke before a shudder of wind brushed against my hair.

The Illyrian I had violated the day before stood there, folding his wings in after the landing. He looked as happy to be here as I would have expected.

"I thought you would be with Morrigan."

"She convinced Rhysand to let me come back to show you Velaris." His tone didn't change through the entire sentence, clearly insisting it had not convinced him.

"Don't worry about it."

As I turned my head back up the sky, he closed the distance and peered over to meet my eyes. "If I have no choice in this, either do you. She will blame me."

We stared intently with narrowed eyes until I gave in and stood up. I couldn't help staring at his wings as he navigated us to the front door. They were huge, bellowing out of his back and almost touching the floor. The glossy feathers made me ache to reach out and touch them again, looking so delicate yet holding a secret of untold strength. Again the idea of feeling the air filter through them a mile above the ground made me shiver.

"Stop staring, it's unnerving."

I started to blush before asking, "What's it like the fly?"

"You want to try it?"

"Yes!" I blurted it, thoughts of flying flooding my brain.

"You're not scared heights?"

I couldn't tell if he was joking at my expense or trying to attempt at some kind of conversion. "No."

Nuala appeared at the door, a pair of shoes in her hand. I had forgotten about my lack of shoes and pulled them on, Nuala disappearing before I could thank her. Azriel opened the door letting chilled air trickle in as we stepped into the sunlight. I had never seen the front of this house but almost giggled at the sight. It was like a smaller version of the one I had grew up in. It was clearly fashioned after a town house, complete with a green (if not frosty) garden and iron fence. We walked to the small gate which Azriel held open for me, clearly motioning me to walk. I stepped through and waited for him to close the gate and walk on ahead. We traded places like this for a while, each one trying to use subtle movements to get the other in front, until it became awkward enough that we resigned to walk almost next to each other down the cobbled street.

It wasn't much of a tour, he neither said anything or attempted in guiding me. It was much more of a 'wander here, wander there' sort of set up. We passed through streets much the same as each other, all seeming the picture of a perfect quiet town. Yet I couldn't help noticing the odd crack in the foundations here and there, every now and then a bordered up window. A few of the shops had shut down too, the lack of heat radiating from them, marking them as lifeless. We meandered like this for a while until we came to a large open area, clearly meant for social gathering or shows. A few artists had set up painting for the day, showing the passer-by's their procession. Other talent dotted the place, ranging from jugglers to dancers. But the music! It was mesmerising.

I must have run ahead because soon I was in front of a man playing what looked like a version on a fiddle, Azriel's warning hand on my arm. I stared as the man played his tune, reckless and joyful. He hit notes I didn't know were possible and danced around to his tone like a fool. Next was a woman on a small piano, so small it could almost fit on her lap. Her fingers glided across the keys, so fast I wondered if she was even pressing them down. Then a guitar with eight strings. Then a harp with at least a hundred. Then a song, a voice so beautiful it echoed off the walls.

"You like music?"

I looked at him in such a way to show my distaste for his question. It was obvious by my attitude and actions that I liked music. It was such a stupid thing to ask.

He rolled his eyes and looked away. I realised he was looking towards a café, with little cakes and truffles in the window. He raised his eyebrow in question, and I answered with a shrug. As we walked ever closer to it, the smell of chocolate hit me and overpowered my thoughts. I must have groaned because Azriel made an almost laughing sound next to me. In the café, he motioned me to a table in the back corner and spoke in hushed tones to the lady behind the counter. After he was done, he sat down opposite me and began our hours of awkward silence. I mean, it had been awkward silence all day, but sitting across from each other in a public place filled with romantic lovers and good friends, made it even more awkward. We immediately looked at anything to avoid eye contact; I looked out the window (limited over people's heads) and he choose the table. We still had not said a word or even looked in the other's direction until a plate of food was put in front of Azriel. And I realised with stark clarity I was not going to eat here. He began eating – slowly just to taunt me – as I continued to stare out of the window.

The silence bore into me until I burst out, "Was there really business to attend to or was it just an excuse for me to spent some alone time with Rhysand's spy?"

He paused in raising his next mouthful and set down the food. "There was business, but he couldn't waste such a good excuse leaving Morrigan behind."

"What should I say to you so you can go back to a happy High Lord?"

"Nothing really."

I propped my brow.

"I don't know what he expects me to find out. As far as I am concerned, I believe this is as much a waste of time as you do."

I signed and rested my face into a cupped hand. A plate with the sweet, heavy scent of chocolate went pass us and I groaned as my stomach complained.

"Want something?"

I craving that chocolate badly but fought to refuse.

"Are you sure?"

"I have no money." I had already been panicking on how to repay the food and comforts already given to me, never mind worrying about more debt.

Azriel just shrugged and carried on with his meal, head down. Another round of silence commenced as I stared out the window. When Azriel was finally finished and the waitress came to take his plate, I was more than ready to leave. But as I began to stand, _another_ waitress came with _another_ plate. It was a rather large serving platter with a large metal bowl in the middle. I almost drippled on my lap when I saw its contains. The whole bowl was filled with melted chocolate, a swirling pattern of white, milk and dark with a ring of freshly cut strawberries surrounding it. The smell hit me so intensely I moaned in longing and almost cursed the smug Illyrian opposite me. I balled my hands into fists and stared at my lap.

"Katherina…"

I only growled in response.

"Katherina..."

I growled again but slowly I raised my eyes. I noticed there was a small plate in front of me. I looked higher till I saw Azriel was holding a chocolate-dipped strawberry in the air in front of me. I finally pulled my face up wholly to look at him, eyes narrowed in question.

"Don't worry, you won't owe me anything. Seriously."

Carefully I opened my mouth as I drew closer to the tempting strawberry. Azriel clearly lost his patience with me because he shoved the strawberry fully into my mouth a couple of centimetres too soon. I would have growled at him for coating my face in chocolate and juice - as this was obviously too big for just one mouthful - but the taste overpowered my brain. It was so heavenly sweet, so heavily sickly; it was so perfect. I purred loudly as I bit into the fruit, sending its juices bursting through my mouth and down my throat.

Amusement in his eyes and a hint of a smile awaited me as I cleaned my mouth of the over spilled aftermath. I felt my cheeks heat, imagining the state of my face. _I must look like a three-year-old._

"Thank you."

"We're not done yet." He said, eying the large bowl in front of us.

I smiled hugely as we began devouring this plate of heaven. After the initial frenzy died down, we ate much more dignified.

"What happened here?" I asked, feeling less like a prisoner now.

"What do you mean?"

I nodded my head in the direction of the large crack in the wall outside. It had been painted to look like a vine, sprouting purple and pink flowers. Despite the painting, it was clear it had been made by some force.

Azriel sighed as he lowered his voice, "There was an attack on this town not so long ago."

"An attack? But Morrigan said no one knows about this place outside of this court."

"That's how it was yes. But we gave up its secret in a gamble to secure an alliance. It didn't pay off."

I nodded as if I understood and the conversation was dropped.

"What's with the shadows?" Another question that I had stored up inside. Even now, they seemed dance his outline, filtering in and out, constantly moving like flowing water.

"I'm a shadow-singer." My arched eyebrow showed my lack of knowledge so he added, "I ask them questions, and they tell me information I would have not otherwise have known."

It didn't seem like much of an explanation to me so I pressed, "You can talk to any shadow?"

He shrugged as an answer.

Unwilling to give up, I asked, "What kind of information?"

"Information that helps me to do my job."

"Have you used them on me?"

Another infuriating shrug. I remembered the smell of a male in my room when I awoke and began to get very defensive.

"Were you in my room?"

A quizzical look fell upon his face before he admitted it with nod.

I immediately felt like upturning the table and storming out of here. Remembering how Nuala and Cerridwen seemed to walk through the wall, I wondered if he had done also. The feeling of being watched in the bath almost made me want to punch him.

"Don't jump to conclusions Katherina, I haven't been in there since you've woken up."

I glared at him untrusting, "Can you walk through walls too?"

"You're talking about Nuala and Cerridwen? I can't walk through walls no. They are part wraith, it's an ability only that species has."

"How am I supposed to believe you?"

"You don't, I guess. But I have no reason to play peeping-tom all day and night. I do have a life, Katherina. And anyway, the handmaidens are my trained spies also so if anyone was being asked to spy on you then they would make much more sense."

"Then why were you in my room?"

"Me and Mor took turns checking on you, making sure you were still breathing, attempting to feed you and such."

"Why?"

"What?"

" _Why_ would you do that?"

"You did heal me, Katherina. You healed me completely and evidently saved Cassian's wings. I owed you." He gestured towards the finished plate of food in front of us.

I blushed, realising this was part of that payment. I felt obligated to explain to him what happened, how it wasn't something I exactly planned.

"Azriel, I have never healed anyone before and I don't want you thinking…"

"It doesn't matter what you think of what you did; my mind is made up."

He raised to leave and I followed, leaving the café feeling much brighter inside.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

Days went on without me, or at least that's what it felt like. The High Lord almost continuously ignored me, only communicating with me when Mor forced him into a conservation. He spent his days here, training with Cassian and Azriel, or just pacing in various rooms where mutters turned to shouts. Nights though, I was left here alone with only flowing singing to accompany me. I complained to Morrigan about the lack of books available to me and she provided a single fiction book to read. That was ten days ago and this was the third time I'd read about how the faerie prince drifted to maid's chamber late one evening after a flirtatious encounter over supper. Mor hadn't been back to get the book and exchange it for fresh literature. I sighed at the dull events unfolding on the pages before me, tilting my head up to the clear sky, breathing in the chilled air.

"Bored of Mor's sex book?" Cassian chuckled as he ducked out of Rhysand's right swing.

"It's dry and unrealistic."

He laughed harder, pausing only slightly to throw another punch directed at his High Lord. "Had much experience to compare then?"

I sighed again, closing my eyes. I knew he meant well with his jokes and he was the only one willing to talk to me, but his mocking comments felt hollow today. I had been up here for at least an hour before they started training. It had been quiet up till then but today I had refused to move. I had nothing better to do anyway than to watch them not hit each other. They had started off with Azriel parring with Cassian before Rhysand stepped in, removing the weapons and just using their fists.

"What's wrong? Want a taste of my fist?" Cassian joked again, seeing I had observed his fruitless punch miss its target.

Not giving him the satisfaction of choking on his comment, I answered plainly: "It's barbaric".

Both of them stopped to look at me. "Excuse me?" uttered Rhysand.

"Brawling. And pointless." Having only silence greet me, I continued, "It's past noon and no one has even made contact. You three clearly only train together and have gotten used to the movements."

"And what do you know of training?" Perked up Azriel from the side-lines.

"Nothing really," calculating my answer, "I taught myself."

"Taught yourself to what?"

"To win."

Another round of laughter sprung from Cassian as Rhysand digested my declaration.

"And why would you need to fight, Katherina?" Rhysand clearly was not impressed with my input.

"Hopefully I wouldn't, but it's not always up to me."

"It is up to me here. Fight."

Cassian choked on the command as I lifted my eyebrow. Azriel stepped closer to his Lord, "Rhysand…"

"Cassian, would you indulge her as you are so clearly wanting to touch her?"

Azriel tensed and attempted again, "Rhysand…"

"Ok." I answered his challenge and set the book upside down on the table, keeping the page for later. "But I do not brawl."

"What if you were in a fight and your weapon was taken from you."

"I would not let myself be unarmed."

I could see in it his eyes: Rhysand was burning to let out his frustration on me and my blunt answers. And I knew I would defend myself if he tried. Both Cassian and Azriel could clearly see my indication as well as they both moved into action.

"Don't worry darling, I won't ruin that pretty face." He said with a wink, clearly trying to defuse the tension.

Azriel opened their case of training weapons, pulled out two slightly dulled quicksilver swords and presented them to us.

I was just about to grab my weapon as Rhysand threw out a blunted wooden shiv. I caught it in my right hand, feeling its unskilled carving and ridiculously light weight. _I wouldn't even be able to kill a mouse with this thing._ We eyed Rhysand carefully as he explained, "Katherina will use that _weapon_ ," he sneered "and Cassian will _brawl_."

A huff escaped my lips as Azriel placed the swords back and turned to us. Looking at their faces, they clearly didn't want this to happen but from the way their High Lord spoke, they were in no position to disagree. Ranking determined by so called 'Lords', 'Kings' and such pretentious titles disgusted me. I knew it would be smart to lose quickly and gracefully but my pride took hold. I would win, using the tool given to me and my own training.

"Begin."

Cassian moved forward and I stayed my place. Sizing him, I knew a punch from him would knock my thin form to the ground even if I was in full health. I concluded to not let him hit me. First I had to test his speed though. Usually with men his size, speed would be their weak point but I had the advantage of seeing him move and knew it would be foolish to assume.

I skipped to his right, clearly giving him the room to swing. Sure enough he tried, but lighter than I knew he could. He was going soft on me but I would change that. If I was going to win, he had to be angered into increasing his punch speed. Then he would make his mistake. I danced in front of him, never striking but allowing him to attempt. As his frustration began to build, I sent a soft breeze to his right wing. His head instinctively pulled that way and I bounced the piece of wood between my hands. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Azriel tense as he sensed what I was about to do.

I ran in circles, tracing the outline of Cassian's range. I curved around his swings as he continued to try to strike me. He flickered and twitched as my wind graced his wings. The continuous sense of his body betraying him as he tried to intercept my speed drove his fists to move in faster and stronger motions. Wearing a fighter like this out would not be possible and he was faster than a normal man of his size. His centuries of training and building those muscles clearly had brought him many advantages in battle. If we were facing each other in any other situation, I would have got in quick and disabled him before he had chance to react. In this current circumstance however, I narrowed my opinions down to a single set of actions.

I moved in closer than I had before and Cassian caught onto it, calculating it as a mistake. His heavy right hook would connect to my face this time, if not for my wind drifting up his right wing. The unmistakable sensation triggered his honed warrior reflexes and he turned away to fight his empty behind. I ducked under the movement of his swiping left arm and moved with him as he turned. Grabbing his right arm and thrusting it up - taking the light blow of the unprepared left arm - before he could push down on top of me, my little stumped wood thrusted between his ribcage.

Cassian stopped moving and I heard Rhysand's teeth grind as the outcome unfolded. It was clear to all that had I been given any type of suitable weapon, my opponent would be dead with a hole through his rib-cage and into his heart. I dropped my stump and a small drop of blood appeared on Cassian's top. It appeared I may have pricked the skin after all. Turning to the door, I heard an almost nervous chuckle from the huge man behind me.

"Bugger me!"

I strolled towards the table, picking up the book and walked into the house. I was angry. I knew it was a petty performance but I was angry. The way they looked at me was either full of suspicion or as if I was some lost, wet puppy. Even though that display would make the former worse, I would rather that than being thought of as a lesser being. I was seen as young, undisciplined girl in their eyes so being a bad-mannered potential threat seemed better. Making it to the room I was allowed to sleep in, I threw the book onto the bed and grabbed the windowsill. Breathing in the cold air emptied my head of emotion and returned me to a calm state of mind. Opening my eyes to the sky outside, I again wondered what it'd be like to fly. To be able to fly out of this room, out of this town, out of these lands and continue flying till I could find myself again. Sighing – an action I had could accustom to - I let my grip fall away drifted out of the room, feeling still and empty once again. I made it to the top of the stairs before the singing hit me like a siren out at sea. Pausing to let it wash over me and fill my head with its beautiful, eerie voice, I followed it with purpose in mind.

Turning around the banister, it flowed towards the sitting room so I moved to the door. Inside, the fire burned and the music bounced off the wood. There was no one inside the room so I figured it must be some kind of music player. And as nothing obvious stood out, it must be small. Rhysand was about to take off for the evening with Cassian and Azriel, judging from the noise on the roof. I quietly shut the door and began to search. The end tables and sideboard held no secrets and even down the sides of chairs had nothing, not even dust. A side thought fell to Nuala and Cerridwen, but I figured I could do nothing to stop them from walking through the walls and seeing me snoop. Remembering the trick of hollowing out a book, I walked over to the bookcase. The thin dust layer over the dull books that were below head height gave no answers but there were still five shelves higher than that.

"Come on books." I asked the books, muttering to them distantly, "even you boring ones must have some secrets."

The singing stopped dead and I paused immediately. I thought maybe I knocked the player, going back the shelf.

"Where are you?"

I swore as I heard giggling underfoot.

"Hello?" I whispered. Swirling on the spot, I looked at the floorboards. I could imagine a man like Rhysand keeping a room handy down there but to let that secret sing? I tested the floorboards, waiting for a tell-tale creek or squeak.

 _Want a clue?_

An uneasy voice flirted to me. I paused, searching the floors on my hands and knees. Moving around the floor, the heat from the fire felt like it was burning my face. I cringed at the sensation and ducked away.

 _I don't like fire either._

The voice spoke, only to be hushed quickly. There was two of them. I moved away from the fire, closer to the chairs.

"Come on…" I muttered until my fingers were spread over the wooden boards in front of a chair.

 _So close…_

I pulled up the floorboard, setting it aside to find a hollow section filled with a black box. Confusion filled my head as I stared at the black box. But the longer I stared at it, I noticed the complete emptiness of the darkness. Fear gripped me unexpectedly before reaching out to the box. Pulling it out and opening it sent more than just chills down my fingers. The box reflected the fire but the blackness within did not. Instead it seemed to suck the heat in, replacing the fire with only shadow. The blackness reminded me of someplace else, and panic shot through me like a bullet.

"You sing?" I breathed.

 _Only to you._ A deeper, darker voice answered, echoing in my ears.

A book lay in front of me, but not like any book I had seen before. Aside from the talking, it gave off an energy that felt… Wrong. Yet it reminded me of something; something very familiar and close.

"Why?"

 _We are the same._ The same voice from the book answered again.

"Who are you?"

 _We are sons._

I began to reach out, a sudden desire to want to hold the book taking over.

 _Up._ The higher voice whispered.

"Huh?"

 _Up you go._

I obeyed, and was met with the sound of the door opening. Turning quickly and unsteadily, my feet hitting the box and sliding it part way under the chair. I slid the board behind my feet as the door fully opened.

"Katherina."

Azriel stood in the doorway, his eyes piercing my face as his siphons flickered in the light.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

"Katherina, I think we need to talk."

I tried to hide my shifting as he closed the door. "We do?"

"Your magic, you need to stop using it."

"Excuse me?" I was shocked by his statement. My magic was something my mother said I should be proud of, it was one of my few strengths. I had never been the most beautiful, smart or graceful woman, but my magic is the one thing I have always been proud of.

"Around here, magic is used… Sparingly."

" _Sparingly_?! Just walking outside, you can _smell_ the magic drifting down the street. Every house in this town is _heated_ by _magic_!"

"Katherina, I'm not trying to offend you…"

"Why do you even care if you do? I'm clearly a prisoner here."

"… What?"

"The absence of bars doesn't disguise the situation I'm in!"

He started to respond, but I couldn't hold myself back.

"Everyone refuses to talk to me, apart from Cassian making mocking comments and Morrigan, who is hardly ever here, and when she is, she only manages restrained conversation. I am to stay here alone every day because I have _nowhere_ else to go. I have been alone with only my magic for almost 300 years, and now you tell me to give up that as well! Are you trying to drive me mad?!" I shouted at him. My frustration had been building for the last month and I had been able to cool it down every time it had threatened to bubble. I knew I was going to eruption at some point but my outburst shocked even myself. I drew a deep breath and began to detangle my thoughts into an acceptable apology.

Before words could escape my mouth, Azriel closed the distance in three steps and looked down in my face. "You're not a prisoner. I never meant to suggest you should give up on using magic completely. Katherina," he breathed deeply and spoke softly, "I was referring to your use of… manipulating air."

I was confused, furrowing my brow at his statement. "What's wrong with it?"

He chose his words carefully. "It's a… rare… gift. And it would be better if not everyone knew about it. Rhysand especially."

"Why? Aren't you his to command?"

"I'm not _his_ to command."

Now I had offended him. "You're his spy…"

"Yes."

"Then it's your job to tell him what you know."

"Not always."

We narrowed our eyes at each other. Both of us had our reasons for secrets and I had a feeling he would understand elements of my own. I broke the stare, looking down at my feet. Then the removed floorboard jumped into my mind and quickly looked back up before Azriel followed my gaze. "Teach me." I blurted out.

"Huh?"

"I trained myself to live by my magic. Teach me how to fight without it."

"That wasn't exactly what I meant…"

"Please Azriel. You're right, I should know how to fight without having to rely on my magic. I've seen you training, we have similar techniques. And if you help me, you can tell your High Lord my weaknesses in battle. After today I imagine he wasn't exactly happy with the outcome." I was mumbling, trying to end the conservation so he would just leave.

"Katherina, I don't think that…"

"You expect me to stop using magic, but for what?" Before he could answer I carried on, "I take it you're not going to explain why I have to stop so give me something I want. I won't let myself be defenceless."

He stared into the fire, away from my face and I could see the thoughts racing through his mind. Despite the light dancing on his eyes, they were glazed over as though he was thinking of a past memory. Whatever jumped into his head made him agree to my terms. He turned to leave without another word and I masked a sigh of relief.

With my body relaxing, I slumped down and my legs gave up from the sudden release of tension. I tried to recover my footing but stumbled backwards and my foot hit the floor board behind me. Azriel paused as his hand landed on the door handle. I only had time to choke on my breath as darkness surrounded me and a second later I was slammed into the floor. The air that choked me came up unwillingly, pushing up from my stomach as my vision became fuzzy.

"How did you find that?"

Azriel's voice came to my ears before his face was visible. The threat in his voice and the look of pure violence in his eyes sent a dagger of fear down my body, making it rigid and useless. He had never given me a particularly friendly look - most of the time he was almost completely emotionless. The intimidation flowing off him now though felt like waves in a storm, hitting me with such force I wanted to curl up into a ball in the hope I would get swallowed by the shadows even the close fire couldn't penetrate.

"I…"

"Tell me how!"

I felt the shadows nipping at my skin from all directions as they tried to tear me apart.

"They were singing…" I sounded like a mouse under the claw of a lion.

"It doesn't sing! How you know of the book?"

"I didn't. I thought I could shut it off. I wanted to see what it was. They've been singing for weeks. I haven't slept." My words tumbled out all together and became jumbled in my mouth.

"Liar!"

The panic in me rose up till the wind rolled off me uncontrollably, pushing Azriel and his shadows off me. I gulped in the air as everything in front of me flew across the room, except for the book which was flipped out of its box and landed with a heavy thud. As I pushed myself onto my knees, I looked up to see an Illyrian ready for battle. His wings were stretched far out behind him, blocking any escape. His two siphons had multiplied many times over and had grown over his body, from the base of his neck to down his legs. Neither of us had weapons but instinct told me he didn't need one. His shadows reached out for me once again, threatening to suck my secrets out.

A split second before they could hit my skin, they stopped dead still and spilled over, like hitting a wall. A wall I didn't create.

"Wait…"

I couldn't finish my warning before he charged at me, solid blue blades appearing in his hands.

 _Foolish boy._

Azriel almost fell upon hearing the deep voice echoing around the room. The wall broke as I reached up to catch the winged man, preparing for the pain of his blades piercing my shoulders. Luckily, the shock must have distracted him enough that his blades appeared to weaken and break as soon as they touched my skin.

"Who said that?" He demanded as he spun out of my reach to face the book.

 _Learn to see the truth._

I scrambled to my feet and ran over for the book as I saw Azriel's violent confusion radiate from his eyes.

"Don't touch that!" He ordered as I reached out. He darted to me and pulled me back before my hand could touch the book, forcing me back to my knees.

"Why not?" I asked as the higher voice argued back.

 _She can take us._

"Who are you?" Azriel ignored the book as he stared into my eyes.

Before I could speak, the deeper voice answered for me. _She is like us._

"What?" This time he turned to book, but held me down by my shoulder.

 _She is like us._ The eerie voice said again as the childlike one added. _We sing for her._

His force on me decreased as his shadows retracted seemingly into him. He turned back to me as I told him, "They've been singing every day and night since I've been here. So loud that it bounces off the walls and carries on up through the house to the roof. I know I shouldn't have been rooting around but I was curious…" I trailed off as his forehead winkled further with every sentence.

Dismissing me completely he questioned the book, "What do you want with her?"

 _Nothing_. Replied the one as the other battled. _Everything_.

As soon as Azriel's focus and grip on me was weak enough, I lunged for the book and held it against my chest. It felt cold against my skin but I was warm in my bones. The metal of my necklace reacted to the metal of book and tiny sparks flew off them. Despite the sparks, I crushed it to my chest, feeling the need to protect it from the Illyrian in front of me.

"Don't…"

Before I could decide which one I was pleading to, the book in my hands told him what I feared.

 _She was not born in this world, as neither were we. We sing to our own._

Azriel seemed taken aback by the truth, his calculations not matching up in his mind.

I felt instantly guilty but couldn't understand why. "Azriel…" I cowered in shame as he stared down at me.

"Who are you?" He said breathlessly.

"I haven't lied. Reinette became pregnant with me in the war and left in fear. She took me to another world."

"Why?" Almost a whisper.

"My father… He was mortal. She wasn't prepared to raise a half-fae, half-human child in this world. She made a deal with a creature for this." I raised my necklace and showed it to him. It was a large tree encased in a circle, the firelight reflecting off its silver roots and branches. I held it in my fist as I continued, "She was told it would transport four lives across to a new world; a world full of only mortals. She planned to raise me there and return with me when my father eventually died. But when they used it, three lives were transported: my father, Reinette, and the life growing inside her. She couldn't return with me. She gave me the necklace and told me if I could no longer survive in our world, I should use it to bring me here. She taught me how to winnow and described to me the places I should go." My secret fell out my mouth until I was out of breath, tears building in my eyes. My mother had sacrificed everything to bring me up safely, even giving up returning to her home world.

Azriel just continued to stare down at me, but his gaze was hollow. "I should have seen it…" He mumbled to himself.

"Azriel please…" I pleaded again.

He looked straight through me as he walked away to exit the room. His siphons disappeared and his wings came in. I dropped the book and ran to him. I crashed into him, pinning him against the wall. He didn't fight as he looked down at me, expressionless.

"Azriel please, you can't tell. I… I…" I couldn't think of a good enough reason as I deflated. Finally, I whispered, "You cannot choose who your parents are…"

The silence between us grew and surrounded us, encasing us in a space where time stretched on until it seemed to pushed against my chest.

"Ok."

The word stunned me, breaking the silence and I looked up. Azriel wasn't quite seeing at me. "What?" I breathed.

"Ok. I won't tell." He finally looked at my face, hardened but no longer threatening.

"Azriel…" I trailed off, unsure what to say, scared of saying anything that would change his sudden change of character.

"You cannot choose who your parents are." He repeated. He breathed heavily, "I won't tell Rhysand or the others what you told me, but if they find out I won't protect you."

"Why?" I dared to ask.

"Why am I protecting your secrets?" He paused before answering. "Because you deserve them, I guess."

Before I could decipher his meaning, he softly pushed me off him and went to leave. As he opened the door, he told me, "Hide the book." He didn't shut it behind him.

I quickly picked up the book and looked at into the black metal. "Why did you tell him?"

 _Why not?_

"Don't tell anyone else." I begged.

 _Ok_. The voices sounded together for the first time.

I placed the book down and began to put the room back to the way it had been. I used my wind to lift the heavy things, like the chair that I had effortlessly catapulted. I put the box back and fitted the board back into place, stepping on it to ensure it was as undisguisable as before. I then left the room quickly, the book held tightly against my chest.

 _Dark, light, ash, fire..._

The book started singing until I hushed it. I ran to roof and used my wind to feel the tiles. I swore when I felt none of them were loose.

 _Dark, light, night, day…_

I hushed the book again as I made my way to the room I was allowed to stay in. Wherever I put it in this house was not safe enough but I didn't have a choice right now. The sun was in its last phase of setting, causing most of the sky to be shrouded in the blackness of night with only the last sliver of red peaking over the horizon. My gaze drifted down from that whisper of daylight left to my windowsill. I darted towards it, feeling beneath it. I sent my wind in through the cracks and felt it was hollow. Carefully, I pulled with my fingers and pushed with my wind until a section came free.

"You'll have to stay in here for now."

 _Sing and dance and stay in the light._

"I know; I'll take you out when I can." I promised.

 _We need to talk._

"We will, but please…"

When there came no response, I placed the book into the hole I had created, turning it back and forth till it fit.

 _Sing! Still sing!_

"Not when I'm sleeping." I agreed to. I used my combined strength to put the wood back into place. I tested it with my fingers once I was done. Unless someone smashed into it and broke the wood (a possibility I couldn't avoid), no one would be able to get to the book without having to use wind to manoeuvre the wood from the other side as well.

Just as I stood back up and looked out of the window to the now completely dark sky, Nuala and Cerridwen appeared from the doorway.

"Would you like dinner?"

I had no idea if they knew what had happened today, or if they even cared. But Azriel told me they reported to him. I just hoped he was right, and that his resolve stayed the same.

"Yes, thank you. But up here, if you wouldn't mind."

They both smiled slightly as I realised it was the first time I had truly asked them for anything. I felt my gut tighten as the thought danced through my mind. They were gone before I could rectify myself, but I promised internally that I would not get use to them.

-Break-

I awoke to a knocking at the bedroom door. The events of yesterday evening quickly ran through my head and made me confused for a moment. The book was a very curious thing - although they had kept their word and not sung all night - and Azriel's reaction to me finding it told me it was not an ordinary item in this world also. _Azriel_. My mind drifted to his array of emotional phases and wondered if he would ever look at me again. What I had asked of him I knew was unreasonable. Although he had never been kind to me, he had never been unkind either. Grabbing my dressing gown after looking outside and seeing the sun barely over the horizon, I opened the door slightly. Azriel stood here, seemingly back to his usual, withdrawn self.

"Azriel?" I asked sleepily, rubbing my eye.

"Get dressed." He ordered as he threw a mass of material on me. I only managed to catch the vest, the leggings dropping to the floor.

"What? Why?"

"Training."

I flashed back to yesterday evening. "But I thought…"

"I told you I would train you." Was all he had to say. "Get dressed and meet me on the roof."


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

I leaped to my right as the blade pierced the air, dodging it successfully and landing on the tip of my toe. Before my heel could touch the floor, another jab aimed at my stomach rocked me back onto my other foot. My sword parried easily and pushed the opponent away. He was fast though and the other one drove to my side. With my second blade already dislodged and thrown aside, I curved my body but I knew it wasn't enough. The cold steel stopped just above my hip and we loosened our grip.

"You are too used to using your flexible body as your defence, you need to remember the weapons given to you and see them as an extension of your arm."

I looked at Azriel with a blank stare. We practice on the roof everyday now and I was slowly getting used to fighting without relying on magic. Sweat beaded on my forehead and I felt it cling to my skin as did my clothes. I picked up the bottom of my vest to wipe my brow.

"Your muscles have grown; you've been working on our core?"

"In the evening."

I looked at my stomach briefly before setting my vest back down. It had hardened slightly, filling out again but moulding into muscles. My body seemed to change quicker in this world as well, a couple weeks of work already showing their effect. The training took up all of the day but night still held boredom. So while listening to the book singing or engaging in conversation with one of the voices (which was difficult as he was very disjointed), I worked out on the floor. Despite requesting we talk when I first put the book under the windowsill, the other voice had not uttered a word to me. I would have been worried if I couldn't hear the deep singing every evening. I figured he was the type of personality that would talk when he was ready.

I wanted desperately to use the wind to blow a breeze into my face, but one look from Azriel stopped me. Even though he didn't offer much up in the way of conversation, he had given me something to work for. And I didn't want that to go away. He was an excellent fighter as well. Like me, he was primarily trained in downing an enemy before they could react, but he was also skilled in parrying if that was the only option available. As if hearing my thoughts, he was able to interrupt my movements before I could even make them. I thought maybe his skill was due to the shadows that traced him but he swore he was not using them in our training sessions.

I turned around to grab the water from the table behind me.

"You done for the day?" Cassian shouted for across the roof. He and Rhysand came here almost every day also, but not for as long as us. Rhysand smirks at my failures had gotten old quickly so as soon as he was done he would fly off. Cassian would sometimes stick around and watch, waiting for Azriel.

"No."

"Yes."

We answered simultaneously. I turned to look for Azriel for an explanation.

"Mor's coming…"

Before he could finish his sentence, Morrigan appeared from in the doorway. She gave Azriel a glance that clearly showed he had been missed. She then came to me and gave me a hug. I stood there frozen at the unexpected show of affection.

She laughed at my reaction, "You need to relax. Should be used to getting touched, huh?"

She looked between me and Azriel as Cassian's laughter began.

"You kidding Mor, she's as uptight as him!"

I felt a blush beginning due to the attention. "I have your book."

"What?" She drew in her eyebrows before a feminine laugh came forward.

"Your book, you left it a couple of weeks ago." It had actually been around a month since I had seen her.

"Oh, I had forgotten about that." She laughed again.

"You ready for tonight Mor?" Cassian chipped in, having stepped closer to the rest of us.

"Of course! Ready to get good and drunk you mean."

"Well I'll see you tomorrow Azriel." Dismissing myself, holding out the sword in my hand towards him.

"What?" Morrigan looked at in surprise. "You're coming with us right?"

"Yes!" Cassian clapped his hand on my back with encouragement. I flinched again at the contact.

"I don't think I should…"

"Come on." Morrigan offered up a smile.

I felt trapped between them and the pressure made me panic. "Ermm…"

"You should come." Azriel took to sword from my hand and placed it back in the trunk. Before I took refuse again, he turned to me and gave me another silent nod. He did that whenever I needed it, and this one told me he would protect me if it got too much.

"… Ok."

Morrigan beamed as Cassian puffed his chest out.

"Don't worry Katherina, you'll always have a dance partner in me!"

"Don't scare her off already Cas." Azriel added.

Cassian bumped his friend's shoulder, "We should go get washed."

"Yes, you stink." Morrigan teased and wrinkled her nose.

The flew off together as usual and I was left with Morrigan. Despite her friendliness, her long absence made me wary. I wondered if I should ask where she'd been but decided against it. She pulled a stray hair from my face as she seemed to study me.

"You get in the bath, I'll bring round a few clothes. We get ready together." She beamed at the idea and I tried to show some kind of enthusiasm in return. "Don't run off!"

She turned and disappeared through the doorway. I finally exhaled a breath I hadn't realised I was holding in. I held my head in my hands as I resolved myself to go out with them. I wasn't very successful as nerves stuck in my stomach. Giving up, I downed the last of the water and turned to do as instructed.

The number of clothes Morrigan thought of as "a few" turned out to be around twenty dresses. After telling her I planned on just putting on a jumper "or something", she held each dress in front of me assessing their suitability.

"A nice backless would look great." She mumbled.

"Not backless." I spoke up.

"Why? You said you didn't want a deep neckline, so backless will still show off some of your skin." She winked at me.

"Not backless." I repeated.

She frowned. "It's ok if you have a few scars, everyone does." Her eyes glazed slightly. "Let's see."

"No!" I shouted, stepping away as she began to pull down the back of my robe. I blushed at my outburst.

"Ok…" Morrigan was shocked but brushed it off. "A deep neck it is then."

She may have been trying to tempt me but I just let her continue with tossing dresses aside. Finally, she held up two together, swapping between them.

"Which one you like?"

"I don't care."

"Well I do so choose." She jokily ordered.

Looking between them, they both scared me. One was a bright red leather material, cut with a deep plunge and short skirt. The other was a safer deep green, but was made of clingy material and had cut-outs on the sides of the stomach.

"The green one."

"Great!" She tossed the red one down onto the bed and held the dress out to me. "Go try it on."

Despite Morrigan being much taller than me, it fit me almost perfectly. I studied it in the bathroom mirror before daring to leave the safety of the room.

"Perfect!" She exclaimed as I opened the door. "But stop trying to pull it down." She said, amused at my attempt to lengthen the skirt.

She had also got dressed, putting on a little black dress that hugged her curves and flattered her figure. I considered trying to find any clothes that wouldn't make her look amazing.

She dragged me to the vanity mirror and sat next to me on the small bench. Pushing a hairbrush in front of me, she began on her own golden hair. Letting the motions of brushing my long hair calm me, I agreed to let her style it. She picked up my hair and mocked it into many different styles before finally settling.

"So you and Azriel are training together then?"

"Yes."

"When did that start?"

"A couple of weeks ago.

"After beating Cassian?" I gave her quizzical look. "Rhysand told me, he was impressed."

"He seemed angry to me."

She spoke softly. "Don't judge him Katherina, he's in a lot of stress lately. He's not himself…"

"Why?" I questioned.

"It's not for me to say…"

I took it as an end on that topic and didn't press.

She attempted to pick up the conversation again. "You getting on well with him then?"

"Who?"

"Azriel." She laughed breathlessly.

"I guess."

"You are both quiet." She laughed again.

"I guess."

"But you still train with him?"

"I asked him to and he agreed. We have a similar style and I don't mind the lack of conversation."

To be completely honest, I was constantly worried about Azriel letting slip my secret. He had no reason for helping me and could inform the others at any time so any conversation left me too nervous to get friendly. He also seemed settled with our arrangement, barely attempting to start a conversation to begin with.

Morrigan continued to search for conversation in me as she finished styling my hair. She sat back down with me as I put on the products she set in front of me. I didn't use most, but put kohl on my lashes and around my eyes, a little cover-up on my dark under-eye and a little balm on my lips. I persuaded her to let me wear knee-high socks and flats as I had not worn heels for centuries. Finally, I had to stand up and turn for her approval.

"You look beautiful!"

I smiled slightly, too scared to look in the mirror myself. The clock chimed downstairs.

"We're late!" She grabbed my hand and ran out of the room.

She dragged me down the streets till we stopped on the corner from a bar that music was blaring out of. She straightened up our dresses, opened up my neckline a bit and fluffed her hair. Finally, she turned - holding my hand so I couldn't escape - and walked to the entrance. Azriel and Cassian were waiting in front of the bar, both in dark shirts. As Cassian's gaze moved from some women to us, he let out a wolf whistle and looked us up and down. I immediately shrunk from the attention but Morrigan pulled me forward.

"What you think? She looks great!"

I blushed as Cassian complimented me. He laughed he at the sight and wiggled his eyebrows. I wanted to disappear into nothing.

"I'll get you a drink, try and loosen you up Katherina." Morrigan said and pushed through the crowd.

"Let's get a table."

Cassian linked my arm and escorted me into the building. The music was loud but good; seductive yet fun. We slid into a corner table as Morrigan came back with a tray of drinks enough for ten people. Azriel took a couple and Cassian grabbed the rest, pushing a few towards me. I sniffed the liquid and smell of alcohol rushed through my nose. I put it down again, trying to be subtle.

"Drink up Katherina, might loosen the tension." Morrigan encouraged beside me.

"She might not have had this sort of drink before." Azriel attempted to stand up for me.

"Then it'll be fun to see her reaction!" Cassian laughed and winked at me.

I sipped the drink slowly, satisfying them. Morrigan and Cassian downed their glasses and got up to dance.

"What's the difference with this alcohol?" I asked Azriel once they were a safe distance away.

"It's designed for High Fae's, as we are more tolerant. Mortals respond to it… quickly."

"I won't drink it then."

"No, they'll notice and make you down pints. Just take it slow."

He clicked his glass against mine and we each took a mouthful. When in my mouth, the alcohol was not as strong and covered with a nice sweet taste.

We both sat there watching the other two dance. Cassian never had a lack of willing partners and everyone took care to stand clear of his wings. Morrigan also had a couple of daring males taking their chance to dance with her. They both moved like fluid. I took another mouthful, finishing the glass. I could already start to feel the effects of the drink in my system. I looked at Azriel and followed his gaze to Morrigan dancing against a male who had his hands on her.

"Why you don't dance with her?"

"What?" He turned away from her to face me.

"You're staring at her Azriel, why don't you ask her to dance?"

"I don't dance."

"Not even for Morrigan?"

He stared at me and shook his head.

"I thought you two…"

"You thought wrong." And dismissed me for another drink.

With all of their shared looks of affection, I was sure they were a couple of some sort.

"I didn't mean to…"

"It's fine." Azriel cut me off, "We're just friends. Too much history."

I accepted his answer and let the conversation drift off. Cassian came walking over with shot glasses in his hands.

"Drink up Katherina!" He slid one towards me and offered his up to match. I instinctually looked to Azriel. "He's not your babysitter, don't let him dull you down, sulking in the corner like he does." He joked at his friend and held to glass closer to me.

I picked up mine, clinked his glass and let it flow down my throat. The taste was sharp but not unpleasant and the effects were almost immediate. Cassian laughed and picked up his full glass and began to tip most of its contents into his mouth. He spotted the lack of drink in my hand and pushed a full glass into my hand. Again glancing at Azriel, he shrugged his shoulders and took a drink himself. I followed suit and was halfway down the glass when Morrigan came over too.

"Are you just going to sit here all night?" She asked me, pulling my hand.

"I haven't danced in… A long time."

"No time like the present." And pulled me up.

I felt the alcohol rock my balance as she brought me to the dancefloor. She immediately went into a graceful sway that made me feel like a stumbling fawn. The drinks had effected my mind though because soon I had her hands on my hips, trying to steady me, not stopping me from running away. Once I let the music fill my head, my anxiety fell away and I enjoyed myself. Morrigan quickly got a partner but didn't turn away from me. Moving my hips to the beat of the music helped me to keep steady and soon I lost awareness of the staring eyes. As I slipped into my own world, hands met my hips and jerked me back to reality. Morrigan was fully encompassed with her partner and panic began to set into who the owner of those hands were on my hips.

As I took a step away, I heard Cassian whisper in my ear, "It's just me." I was surprised at how much that calmed me as he fell into the movements with me. It wasn't too close that I felt enclosed and his wings actually helped move people away. I turned to face him and he danced with me safely. Despite his suggestive mocking, he was actually very considerate and mindful of my wariness. He didn't attempt to turn to it into a dance like I had seen him do with other females, just comfortable and friendly. I loosened against his touch and relaxed into a swing. We were both smiling and for the first time since coming to this world I was truly having fun.

He leaned to my ear and whispered, "Azriel isn't the only one who will protect you."

I looked back in shock, fearing Azriel had told him about my birthplace.

But Cassian smiled and whispered again, "You always look to him before doing anything, but me and Mor will protect you too. No hard feelings about getting my arse kicked!" He laughed and I relaxed again.

Before I could stop myself, I looked towards Azriel at the table and Cassian pulled up his wing to block my view. I blushed but he just laughed again and continued to dance. We carried on till he walked me back to the table.

"You not gonna dance tonight Azriel?"

"No." Azriel answered into his drink.

"Got Katherina to myself then." He winked at me and motioned to the dancefloor.

"Can I have a little break? I'm thirsty."

"Sure." Cassian smiled and walked back out.

I sat down opposite Azriel and picked up a glass. "Why won't you dance?"

"I just don't dance."

"So you'll just sit here all night?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I don't want to dance."

I took a big gulp of alcohol and felt the confidence flow straight to my mouth before I could stop it. "So you just sit here and stare at Mor?"

He glared at me and walked away. I put my head in my hands at my idiocy. I hadn't expected the vicious tone at which I spat the words at him. Draining the last of the drinks on the table, I felt drunk enough to go after him and attempt an apology. As I was walking over however, a male grabbed my hand and asked me to dance. Just as I was refusing, Morrigan appeared and brushed the male off.

"You alright?"

"I've offended Azriel."

"Oh, he'll be fine." She smiled. "You like the music?"

"Yeah, it's different to what I'm used to though."

"You play?" She asked, motioning towards the band.

"Only a little."

Her eyes brightened as if she had come up with an amazing idea. "You should play!"

I laughed, "I don't think so."

"You should!"

"No." Laughing again.

She made a pouty face and tried to drag me towards the stage. I pulled myself back, attempting to detangle myself. She frowned and instead took me to the bar. The bartender looked her up and down and she pushed her chest out in response. I was overwhelmed with her confidence but very glad of it; with her walking next to me, no one ever looked to me.

Two shots were given to her, she held hers up and we knocked them back together. Another hit to my head rocked me slightly.

"So you want Cassian?"

"Huh?" Confusion blanketing my face.

"I saw you two dancing." She said, raising her eyebrows.

"Oh. He's nice."

She smiled, "He's good you know. Gotta give him a little push to let him know its ok though."

"You two…?"

"Yeah once, it's a long story." Her eyes glazed but it was quickly gone. "So you want me to tell him to go for it."

"Please no." She raised her eyebrows again. "So you and Azriel…?"

She looked at the bar, "What about him?"

"You two not been together?"

"Not both of them, how loose do you think I am?" She joked but I could tell she was hiding something.

Before I could question further however, Cassian came up behind me and ordered a drink.

"Hear they're closing soon Mor."

"What? It's not anywhere near sunrise!" She complained. "Why?"

"Band's going early."

"That's not fair! I haven't been out in ages and have to go home early!" She pouted until she looked over to me. "You have to play!"

"What?" Me and Cassian both spoke together.

"She can play Cas. Get her up there!"

He laughed and grabbed my hips. I turned away with my hands up. "I can't play well and never in front of a crowd this big! Let's not…"

They both smiled and Morrigan turned the bartender. Before I knew it, I had another shot down my throat and stood on the stage holding their version of a violin. It had six strings instead of four so I tested them and tuned the middle ones to what I was used to. I breathed in quickly before fully taking in what I was actually doing and getting too nervous and bailing. The alcohol helped, and once I got the first couple notes out of the way, the rest came spilling out. The style was clearly difference from what they were used to but Morrigan was quickly dancing and others followed. Blocking them out, I flowed with the music, hearing it echo through the room and vibrate down my arm. I was dancing before I knew it, turning and dipping and moving my feet to the music. I had missed the joy of playing music, the movement of my arm with the bow and stroking the strings. I let the feeling envelop me. After the first song full of long notes and little hits, I moved onto a western sounding melody. This was harder and reckless, lots of sudden changes. I let my hips move in fast movements, more jerking then swinging and moved my feet in little jigs. I played on and on until I finally took a bow and Cassian escorted me to the door.

Morrigan threw her arms around me as a goodbye and walked off with Cassian. I began to walk the other direction but Azriel fell into step next to me.

"Azriel?"

"I think I should walk you home."

"You don't have to."

"Yes I do." And caught me as I stumbled on the cobbled street. I was too drunk on alcohol and joy to blush.

We walked in silence, Azriel catching me every time I tripped, until we reached a bridge. I walked to the railing and looked down at the water beneath. The beginning of the day was reflecting off the ripples. It sparkled as it continued down the street. As I stared at its beauty, my thoughts drifted off to faraway places.

"Come on Katherina…" Azriel encouraged as he put his hand on my waist.

I turn around a hugged him tightly. He tensed under the touch and he wings went out slightly. I hid in his shirt and leaned against him.

"I'm sorry Azriel. For what I said. I don't know you… I don't know Mor… I'm sorry… For the burden I've put on you. I feel so lost…" My voice choked and I felt my eyes fill up.

He relaxed and wrapped one arm around me while the other patted my head. "I chose this."

He held me, worried I was going to break if he didn't, until I pulled myself together and looked up at him.

"Will you take me flying one day?"

His mouth pulled up and his eyes were full of kindness. "If you want."

I touched his almost smile and pulled up one corner a little more. "More than anything."

He lowered my hand from his face and walked me to back to the house as the sun was fully raised over the horizon. Training was cancelled for that day due to my incredible headache.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

The water flowed off me as I raised my face from the deep bath and wiped the residue from my eyes. Another night out with Mor, Cas and Azriel, but this time I had had a lot less to drink and Azriel took me back early. I had another headache but nothing a refreshing face wash couldn't overcome. Getting dry, putting on the vest, leggings and braiding my hair just in time for the knock on the door. Azriel stood there, fresh as always at such an early hour, and headed up to the roof. Following him, I fell into the routine we had established. For over two weeks, a day consisted of working out until Mor came round to get ready, going out drinking and dancing, then Azriel walking me home before crashing into bed. I had learnt to drink less otherwise, Azriel would literally pull me into the bath with a big hangover and spend the rest of the day hitting into my sides with blunted weapons. While I still only ever danced with Cassian and very safely, I had gotten more comfortable with their presence. Even Azriel would often physically move my stance to what he suggested, although the contact never lasted more than a few seconds.

I continued to admire his swiftness when in training and slowly found myself able to match him. I was parrying with him, dancing with double daggers, when I noticed the sun had passed its highest point.

"It's past midday, where's Cas and Rhysand?"

"Oh, there's a meeting today."

"And you're not attending?"

"Not until later."

"Oh."

He thrust his dagger to my left side (the side I apparently keep open far too often) and I deflected it the way he would, the metal giving off tiny sparks.

"I guess you won't tell me what it's about."

"They won't tell me."

Keeping my guard up, I tilted my head in question.

"Rhysand thinks I'm too… Familiar with you."

I didn't know what to say. I couldn't deny he had hidden things, important things, from his Lord. To be denied access to inner-circle meetings though, did he distrust me that much?

"The meeting's about me, isn't it?"

Azriel just shrugged but I saw his jaw move as he ground his teeth. It was about me.

"Is he kicking me out?"

Another shrug.

My shoulders dropped and my arms went limp. "You know; I don't really feel like this today." Hanging my head, I held out the blunted dagger.

I felt a defiance in him as he opened his mouth, but something stopped him and he took the weapon from me.

As I was walking away into the house, he told me "I will check on you in a few hours." But I just dismissed him with a wave of a hand, not turning around; in fear he would see the emotion on my face

I held it together until I shut the bedroom door. Then I had to ball my fists so tight to stop my magic from erupting, my nails pierced through my growing calluses. I wanted to rip this room apart, shove through the walls and burst to the outside, letting the air flood in. Instead, I used the little energy I dared to forced air into my lungs, fast at first then slowly, letting it fill my head. I had shut off my emotions for centuries, living alone away from civilisation to hide my immortality. To stop any more pain of outliving everyone, even the one person who could have stayed young with me. I had let a crack of that closed door open, and now I couldn't stop the wind rushing out and throwing it open. But I had to push back, attempt to close it shut again or I feared I would be flooded with nothing but 500 years' worth of pain.

When I had finally gained control over myself, I looked at my hands and saw the blood swell over the wounds I had inflicted. Red streaks laced down my fingers and a few drops had fallen on the floor, blotting the cream carpet. I huffed out my breath, curling my hands up to stop the blood from dripping any further and walked to the bathroom. I washed my hands, the small puncher wounds already healing over. I still couldn't get used to the healing rate of this land. When my skin had knitted itself back together, I bowed my head over the sink.

I thought the headaches were only because of the nights out, but Morrigan said Fae alcohol doesn't cause hangovers. And when my magic built up like that, it felt like my skull was about the break open. If I didn't unload it in some way soon, I felt my whole body would split into a million pieces. I splashed some water on my face but it still didn't ease the pain. I stumbled to the bed, rubbing the blood into the cream carpet even further, and collapsed on the bed. The book said something but I was asleep before I could understand the words.

Hours later, I awoke to a panic in my chest. I opened my eyes to a blurry room with Azriel shaking me and shouting my name. I grunted in response and rolled over, only to be rolled back. I grunted again to words I couldn't put in the right order to make sense.

"Katherina, wake up."

"But I like to sleep," I mumbled, and swear I heard something resembling a chuckle in return.

"You have been bleeding. Are you ok?"

Realising he would not be leaving me alone anytime soon, I resigned to sitting up. The room turned slightly but soon settled down. Azriel was staring at my face, eyebrows knitted tightly. I felt heat rise to my cheeks as I realised how little air there was between our faces. Quickly I looked at my upturned hands.

"I accidently cut them a little," nodding slightly. "Sorry I didn't clean the blood, I got a headache and wanted to lie down. I didn't mean to go to sleep."

"Oh," Azriel said, his hand flickered but stayed by his side. He drew back, looking away with little emotion on his face. "Cerridwen and Nuala will clean it."

As if they were listening to his summons behind the wall, they walked through with wet cloths already at hand.

"It's fine really! Don't bother yourselves, I was just a bit clumsy." I said to the handmaidens as I quickly rose out of bed to them.

"No." Azriel stopped me with a hand, dropping it quickly once it had served its purpose. "I have something for you."

I turned my head to face him but he still looked away. "Oh?"

He cleared his throat, "Come downstairs," was all he said as he turned to leave the room.

I followed behind him and felt my heart pump a little faster. I had awoken to a panic that felt foreign to me, but now it was my own nervousness that I felt in my chest. I attempted to think of some kind of small talk, but that wasn't my strong point, or his. So silence often followed us. Most of the time I was thankful for it, but right now the pressure and awkwardness between us pressed on me to search for anything.

"How was the meeting?" I blurted out as he rounded the bannister, instantly regretting my words.

"I didn't go."

"What?" I have to admit I was shocked. Azriel certainly did not seem the type to play truant.

His reply was surprisingly calm though, "I didn't feel like it." I had learnt to read him enough to know that was as much explanation I was going to get.

I felt my anxiety rise again, thoughts of self-blame rushing to my head. I curled and uncurled my hands into fists, trying to block out the voices that told me how this was all my fault, how I was useless and was negatively effecting his life. I felt the door creep open and I prayed I wouldn't blow a hole in the wall with my magic. Azriel paused at the living room doorway however, and turned to face me. Something in his eyes made me wonder if he could feel my inward struggle, the worry echoing back at me. Again his hand flinched, but stayed put as his throat bobbed.

"I thought I would get you something to entertain you when you're alone. Something to make you happy." He said quietly, looking at the door as he opened it.

I walked in and stopped dead when I saw what he had brought for me. On the plush sofa by the lit fire, was a wooden violin with a deep blue ribbon around it. Happiness swelled in my heart as I took in what he was offering me. Since being here, I had been so quiet, afraid to speak or move in case it would lash back at me. Whether he knew it or not, he was giving me a voice. I ran to it but paused before touching it, my hand hovering in the air.

"Am I allowed to?" I asked double checking I had gotten this situation right.

"Of course," a hint of a smile, "it's yours."

Brushing my fingers lightly on the strings, plucking the each lightly. Moving down, the wooden body was polished and steady, yet still delicate and beautiful. The bow was leaning up next to it, made of the finest white horse hair that I knew would ring true. Sitting next to it, teasing it with the lightest of touches, afraid it would disappear if I didn't. Finally, I picked it up, holding it under my neck. It was a perfect fit.

"Why?" I breathed.

I felt Azriel's eyes on me as he answered, "You said you felt like a prisoner. You are not. You played this and you looked free."

My heart swelled and as I ran the bow over a string, letting out a single note, I felt my eyes tear up.

"Thank you." Was all I could whisper.

He turned to leave after a couple of moments pause.

"Wait," I started after him, "I want to show you something."

He stopped to face me, eyebrows drawn. "Show me?"

I nodded, a blush appearing on my cheeks. "Yes, but you have to give me permission."

Considering for a few seconds, he finally came to sit next to me. Realising I was looking to him for confirmation, he nodded slightly.

Carefully, I began to play for him. I hadn't played for anyone alone in a long time, not since my mother died. Blocking out those memories, I delved deep into my gut and found what I was looking for. Starting a tune that was created in my heart, I pulled out the notes and let my bow sing. I bowed with it, closing my eyes and letting the vibrations ring up my fingers. But I didn't hold back like I had in the bar. With the sound in the room, I pulled at it, twisting the vibrations. I could feel each one I sent out into the air, and caught it in my wind. I manipulated the sounds, pulling them longer or shorter where I wished, turning them into something new. I couldn't feel the man beside me anymore, just the feelings behind that door drifting out into the air, shaking me to my core. By the time I had finally come to a soft end, a tear fell from my cheek.

"Sorry I am unpractised; it's been quite a while," I whispered into the suddenly heavy silence. I withdrew my magic in and settled the instrument on my lap. When Azriel still had not said a word, I dared to look at him. His face for the first time was anything but emotionless. But I couldn't tell what emotion lay there.

Heat filled my face when he finally spoke. "How did you do that?"

"I can feel the vibrations in the air, and I just… Pull them to what I want." I mumbled, embarrassment filling my head.

"You can change sounds?"

"Yes. Anything that is in the air, I can move: sounds, light…" I trailed on, unsure what to say. "You've never seen that before?"

"No."

I started, he said this was a rare 'gift' but I hadn't realised how unusual it was. Suddenly rejecting my decision to show him, I stood up.

"Thank you, Azriel, for the violin…" I mumbled as he continued to stare off, his eyes showing his brain was working over something.

He said nothing as I left and retreated to my room. Nuala and Cerridwen were gone by then, the carpet returned to its immaculate state. I set the violin carefully on the chair, brushing my fingers over it again. It was truly a beautiful thing.

By the time I turned to thank Azriel again, regretting leaving him sitting down there on his own, he had left. The book was happy to have some music to accompany them in their song however.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

The music was loud in my head and the drink made me slightly dizzy. But my body was responding to the music. I had learnt to find a new freedom in the night, letting my body move when it wanted to, pushing my head away while my heart took control. It had taken weeks but in this crowded bar surrounded by strangers that could very well try to kill me, I set myself free. Unlike the sessions with my violin where I let my magic move the vibrations around to what I felt inside, this was just my body. Looking up to the ceiling, to the bright lights above me, I could block out the strangers around me and truly feel myself through the haze of silent questions and answers I was too scared to hear. Throwing my arms up to those blinding lights and giving my whole body to the music, curling up and rocking my hips.

I was so thrown into this feeling I didn't even question the warm feeling of someone up my back, their hands hesitating towards my hips. Leaning into the body behind me and only slightly feeling the heat in my face, the person mimicked my movements and rolled with me. An uneasy feeling started in my stomach but I pushed it down and let myself be free.

The hot breath on my ear and being touched by someone insignificant gave me a sort of importance; something I had severely lost. My hand was in the person's hair, pulling his face down to keep him breathing in my ear as the feeling attempted to awaken something in me I had closed off. Hands reached around, pulling me closer and a nose brushed my neck. I tilted my head back onto a chest and let the heat from the male warm my back. Grinding against each other to the beat of the music didn't flicker anything inside though. The music still filled my head but sober sadness started to leak in. The hardness that pushed against me made me snap away. I pushed away from the male, not bothering to pause to explain as I left the building and leaned against the wall.

Breathing in deep stopped the burn in my throat, the bile in my stomach threatening to erupt out in vomit. No matter how close I got to feeling something like desire, my body would reject it and throw me away. I choked on the phantom smoke in my lungs and clamped my eyes shut. Running my hands through my hair to pull my head up, I pushed that door inside till it closed. I rolled my neck and snapped my mask back on. But before the pain could settle, I heard a footstep close.

"Katherina?"

I snarled at Azriel as he held up his hands. I shook my head again before apologising.

"I thought maybe that male had hurt you," Azriel explained, looking at the cobbled street.

"You saw that?"

He gave a single nod.

"I'm trying to…" How could I explain it to him? It came from somewhere so deep. "I want to… Dance." It wasn't the right word but was the only one I could think of.

He awkwardly kicked at an invisible stone and stuffed his hands in his pockets. Something painful settled in my chest. I checked the door but it was closed, this pain was different, something foreign to my usual suffering.

"I think I'll just call it a night," I said as I walked towards him.

When I was next to him, however, he pulled out an arm and grabbed me. I looked up to him with a question on my face.

"You don't want to dance like they do in there. It's primal, but it's heartless."

"Maybe I want heartless."

He could tell it was a lie, how emotion was laced in my emotionless words, but I couldn't be bothered trying to explain how empty my chest felt. How I wished to be heartless, that this hole was filled with nothing compared to the blackness it did hold. If I had once had a beautiful heart, it had rotted. And no heart at all would be better than a rotten one. He held my eyes, trying to see some answer to a question he hadn't asked. After a few heartbeats he turned, turning me in the process to face each other. He released me then and upturned his hand towards me. An offer.

Reading the confusion on his face, he explained. "Dance with me."

"What?"

"Dance with me. I won't dance like that male did; _on_ you."

"But I thought you don't dance." I challenged, hoping he wouldn't see through my mask, see how terrified I was.

He shrugged and raised his hand slightly higher. I could have said no, I could have just walked off and put his offer to him having one too many tonight. But instead, I took his hand and let him lead. He put a hand on my hip and moved a step. Blush rushed to my cheeks as I faltered.

"I haven't… Danced… Like this… In a… Long time." I stuttered. "And there's no music." I found myself grasping for a pathetic excuse.

Azriel pulled my chin up so my eyes were no longer locked on our feet. "Your mother taught you how to dance?"

I shook my head and he pressed his lips together. As I waited for some sort of response, he just started dancing. He led me around the alley in what I figured was some kind of take on a waltz. My heart was racing and my thoughts jumbled together as I tried to remember my footing. I was concentrating on trying to concentrate so hard, I didn't notice Azriel lean in.

"Stop thinking so much, close your eyes if it helps."

I looked back at his face. He looked calm, his expression soft for once. He looked… Safe. All feelings settled slowly, like leaves landing on the forest floor after their spinning descent. Breathing in deep, I took the risk of closing my eyes with my sparring partner. Soon I melted away from this world and into places in my mind I kept locked in a box.

My body filled with emotion as I envisioned dancing in the town hall, my mother watching from the side-lines as I spun in circles with the humans. I still had a sense of belonging, a chance at friends in my young age, before they had died, leaving me untouched by the changing seasons and alone. Before I watched as they grew, watched as they fell in love and had children, and before I watched their children do the same. The image changed again as I drove deeper into my memories, my mother putting flowers in my hair in a meadow. She taught me how to delicately slice a flower stem with my fingernail and thread the flowers together so they sat like a crown on my head. But after I had fixed a ring around her head, she pulled me up and the flowers tumbled out of our hair and got caught in my curls as she turned me through the grass.

At last the memory I kept deep in my chest, crushed under the weight of an endless life. It was my father's face. He was wrinkled in such a way me and my mother would never be, grey settling in his hair. But he was smiling, like a fool he was smiling, but it sent joy into my little heart. I must have only been 20. I was on his feet as he was dancing the waltz, lifting me with him as my mother laughed from the corner. It was my father who had taught me to dance. Not the formal way my mother would later on, but he was the first to introduce me to the fun freedom of dancing. And a year on from this stupid happy memory, he would die of a mortal illness. I would never see that foolish smile again. And that would cause the first crack in my heart.

Suddenly the world stopped turning and I opened my eyes to the face of Azriel in front of me. We were in the little dark alley in this foreign world.

"Thank you." I breathed as a tear fell from my face. My throat burned in pain and the tear trails started to dry on my cheeks.

But Azriel wasn't looking at me, he was looking at the female staring at us from the alley entrance. Morrigan's face was contorted into an expression I couldn't read, but it wasn't friendly. My voice got caught in my closed throat and a warning of danger pulled at me. Before anyone could talk, Cassian stumbled around the corner and strode through the tense cloud blanketing all of us.

"You all ready to go?" Cassian drunkenly shouted to the air.

"But it's so early!" Morgan's words did not match the emotion she gave off, her scent catching my nose and filling me with dread. The smell wasn't one I had encountered before, a dark pain that reminded me of fire giving off too much black smoke.

"Since Rhys refuses to stay in his house, why don't we all just go back there?" Cassian suggested, seemingly proud of himself.

Silence filled the empty space between us as we walked back to their Lord's house. Cassian rocketed ahead, dancing and occasionally singing, giving off the air of a care-free, drunk fool. But I noticed how he would catch the glances between Azriel and Morrigan, the scent drifting from both of them. And how I was staying out of it, avoiding it all. I had it wrong it appeared; the 'history' between them was still very much present and I wasn't about to voluntarily get myself involved.

As Cassian bashed through the door, they all moved to the living room, Cassian already a bottle in hand.

"Where are you going, Katherina?" My escape upstairs was not as subtle as I had thought.

"To bed. I'm tired." I _was_ tired, but we all knew that wasn't the reason I was trying to sneak away.

Morrigan walked into the living room without a second glance, Cassian said something too incoherent to understand and followed her. As did Azriel, not turning to face me. It wasn't till I had closed the door and leaned against it, staring at the cream carpet, did I wonder when I had begun to notice Azriel's slight movements. Like the way his hand would flicker then be forced still, as if the thought was cut off before it was allowed to flourish. Or how his head would turn so a few strands of hair would fall but being snapped back before the others could follow. His face was often emotionless, but his body was anything but.

I groaned, not willing to explore my thoughts and attempting to drown them in a pillow. I seriously had no idea what was going on. I had been here for months now and I still had no idea what I was doing. I had no path, no future, no goals. I had never considered to think about what I would do when I actually got here. _Here_ seemed so far away, and yet now it was so close. I had no idea about how this world worked, what people filled it, how politics functioned, what the seven courts I had been told about actually do. And what of beyond that? There were mortals here but where? How big was this world? I had no answers. And it appeared I hadn't even been able to work out the people closest to me. I wanted to scream, cry, laugh and rip myself apart. Everything was foreign: my body, my mind, even the emotions I felt inside of myself.

Huffing, I rolled on my back and refused to feel so weak. I had been weak once, unwilling to accept my own mortal heart. That is what had become of being a half-breed. An immortal body but a mortal heart, that had died and rotted inside this shell. But without an open heart, I had become indifferent to the world around me. And I shall do again to this one. I will find purpose in my existence, and I won't again make the mistake of hoping for more. I was born to be alone, to never truly belong to a species. To exist but not live, to effect nothing around me and become swallowed up in its ever-changing web. And the day when my rotten heart would finally disease the rest of my body, flooding me with darkness that would allow me to float off into nothing, it would be a blessing.

But first, I would have to get away from this town that kept me captive. And to do that, I would need back up. I would need the support of the three people below me. Despite Azriel's quiet kindness and Cassian's friendly protection, Morrigan was the one I would lean to. She was the first person I felt was purely interested in my welcoming. Even if it was based on past love for my mother, I would have to use it. I would have to use this love to get me out of here. But not tonight; tonight I wanted air.

Pushing my hands into my eyes, forcing myself up and gripping the door handle. The little window provided wasn't enough. I wanted to be surrounded by a cold wind that wasn't shared by anyone else. Where there wasn't anything but the air around me and the sky above. I walked through the hall, letting the sound of drunken laughter flutter past me. I hoped their advanced hearing wouldn't pick up on my light footsteps, tell-tale of my escape from the bedroom. But I figured even if I did, they wouldn't care enough to involve me that they would disturb. Shutting them out finally, I closed the door and marvelled at the light above me.

I had never really seen this place at night, at least not sober. The stars were beautiful and pungent, breaking up the blackness. The air that swirled around me was as cold as promised, enough to raise the hair on my arms but not enough that I had to regret not bringing a jacket with me. I ran to the edge, bracing the wall as I looked out to the village around me. The moonlight reflected off the rooftops and danced on the water running through the streets. It was beautiful. But nothing could stop the rising dread in my stomach. This place was well loved; it was easy to see. So it was well protected. Despite the free movement of light dancing through this place, even water trickling out to open land, I was stuck. I wanted to become particles in the wind and let it take me away.

I noticed something in the distance. It reflected nothing so artificial, nothing man-made. Hope crept in as I climbed the shimmering tiles. Further, I climbed until I was high above the door, on the highest point of this roof. From here, the darkest of the distance became clearer. On the other side of this town, it appeared to be a forest. The tall pointed trees with needle leaves stood against the growth of this town. As if protecting the landscape behind from more artificial beauty. Hope swelled fully in my chest, a smile on my face. Not one full of drunk foolishness, but one that came from within. I at least had a chance.

Footsteps snapped me back into focus, and I looked down. A boot appeared in the doorway. Instinctively, I hid myself, moving the light to appear as I wasn't there at all. Instead of the moonlight falling on my face, it covered me like a blanket, showing the world its reflection as it would have been, bouncing off the rooftop. Azriel went to the spot I had stood minutes before, his back to me. Despite the shadows that filtered around him, the moonlight danced off his glossy feathers. Again, I felt myself wanting to reach out and touch them, but I now knew better.

I wanted to show myself, to go up to him and attempt to talk to him. Just idle chatter, something I could never get the hang of. But I held back. Still cloaked, his eyes scanned over the landscape and I wondered where his mind was. Had he always lived in this town of night? Where was home for him? The only Illyrians I had seen here was him and Cassian, why had they left their families? I truly knew nothing of the people around me.

Suddenly it hit me that I was intruding on a private moment. I imagined his eyes glazed, his mind far away. Remembering how I felt getting out of the bath, my mind still in my old world, then the overwhelming feeling of being watched.

I began to tiptoe to the edge, preparing to jump down silently and slip through the door. But as I looked down at my target, Morrigan appeared. I froze into a statue, holding my breath. Azriel was so lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice her walking gracefully up to him. She smelt of sweet, strong alcohol, but her walk was still precise as she reached out for his arm. He jumped at the touch.

"Why are you always so distant?" Her voice was husky, deep and daring.

"We should go back downstairs," Azriel said the words but his voice was unconvincing.

He lightly took Morrigan's hand from him, placing it down and letting go.

"It's quieter up here." She countered, running her hand down his chest.

I knew I was unwelcome in this moment. I knew I should leave, I wanted to leave, but I was stuck to the roof. She looked at him with pure lust, her eyes not as glazed as I would have thought. Something churned in my stomach as I watched her hand move lower. But he caught her before it hit his pants, pushing it away. I saw her bristle at the rejection.

"I know you want me Azriel, you always have."

"No, Morrigan."

She whirled, throwing her hands in the air. "Are you always going to hold this over me? So I chose Cassian. I was young! Can't I choose you now?"

Azriel tightened, his body becoming rigid and his wings came in close. His face was masked by shadows. And he didn't reply.

A smile crept on Morrigan's face as she moved closer, tipping her face to his. I closed my eyes, wanting to run away but unable to. My mind tried to wander to the forest beyond, wanting to smell the leaves and feel the soil beneath my feet. But I couldn't leave this moment. It wasn't just that I felt unwelcome, but something inside of me wouldn't let myself see them together.

"No."

He spoke and I opened my eyes. I knew she had heard him too, but still, she pressed on. Instinctively, I threw a shield around Azriel. They didn't notice until Azriel reached out to push Morrigan away. He flexed his fingers, unsure of the lack of feeling when connecting to her. But she didn't notice. Instead, her face changed sour and the smell of choked fire rose from her.

"No? No! You don't want me anymore Azriel? Have you been tempted by a flash of orange?"

Her voice was no longer just raised, it was shouting, almost screaming at him. His wings came in even tighter as my shield of air around him strengthened. Her eyes narrowed as if trying to read his thoughts.

"You think she is more innocent than me? We can all _smell_ she is no virgin. Just some lost girl. No doubt took up the family trade. Reinette probably took her away to hide the shame of getting pregnant with some lord's child!"

I felt hollow. This woman, who I thought had spoken with such love for my mother. Who I had thought of as my ally. Who I had let befriend me. Who I had hoped to be my freedom from this captivity. Instead, I realised I was nothing to her; never had been. Just a doll to dress up and play around with as a distraction. And whatever my mother had been to her had withered away. She may have had a little too much alcohol to make her bold enough, but this came from somewhere inside of her. I didn't let her words sink in, but I felt my magic building inside.

"Morrigan…" Azriel was surprisingly stern.

But she didn't listen, she was done listening. She flung herself at him. Reaching for him: for his mouth, between his legs. My own anger was still singing inside me. But a rush of fear, panic and helplessness appeared. I felt his unwillingness and he felt powerless to stop her. It took me back to a time not too long ago.

Morrigan was on the floor, unmoving and eyes closed.


	9. Chapter 9

**_Trigger Warning!_**

 ** _For this chapter. If you want any more information before reading, please feel free to pm me and I will get back to you as soon as I can._**

* * *

CHAPTER NINE

I hadn't meant to. But like retracting a hand from a burning fire, my magic leapt towards them. It built a shield around Azriel, so thick anyone could see the shimmer of the clear film encasing him. But my anger had been thrown with it. I could feel the air enter her lungs, flowing into every inch of her body. Like squeezing a tube of rushing water shut, I clamped down on her airways. In an instance, her lungs and brain emptied of air; in the next, I hurried it all back in. She was alive, no damage inflicted, but her lungs had collapsed for a portion of a second. It had caused her to pass out on the cold floor. But I had managed to bring her to the floor gently, placing her down on a soft wind.

Azriel whipped his eyes to me. I had dropped my cover, feeding the air carefully in and out of Morrigan's body, ensuring she was safe.

"Katherina…"

I expected him to shout, to wrap his shadows around me like he had before. But instead he had whispered, just standing there with fear in his eyes.

I opened my mouth, but realised I had nothing to say. It wasn't that I had been jealous; it was much deeper than that. Like my whole being had rejected what was happening in front of me. I jumped down to him, pushing myself forward so I landed in front of him. I was scared of the fear in his eyes. But now I was close to his face, I realised he wasn't looking at me at all; Cassian and Rhysand stood in the doorway, eyes fixed on me.

Rhysand flew to me, stepping through the air as I felt him bend away. Appearing so close to my face, fear struck my heart. Before I could even flush, I was pushed behind a large set of unyielding wings. Cassian was in the corner of my eye, bending over Morrigan. The black feathers that shielded me blocked most of my view. I knew her breath was strong, still feeling the air moving past her mouth in a steady flow. Cassian's face relaxed, a lungful huffing out of him as he felt it too.

"She's fine Rhysand, just out."

I knew that wasn't enough for Rhysand without seeing his face; I could feel the anger rolling off him. If it wasn't for Azriel in front of me, I would have disappeared into the air and never looked back. But his wings had also pinned me against the wall, as if he'd known I would run.

"Azriel. Move." Rhysand's voice was hard, unyielding.

But Azriel didn't move, he was locked in place. I felt Rhysand push against the shield I still held around Azriel. With caution, I allowed Rhysand's dark presence in, but I was ready to throw the defence back up in a moment. Some kind of silent conversation passed across them. I felt Rhysand pushing on my mind as well, trying to break my skull open. I clamped down, biting my lip, unwilling to let him in.

Then suddenly, the pressure was gone and the air relaxed slightly. A sudden light-headedness appeared and I could taste the blood from my lips. I didn't know what had happened, only that Rhysand turned to Cassian who was still over Morrigan.

"Take her downstairs." He ordered, his voice was no longer full of anger, but now self-satisfied, like he had just won a hard-fought gamble.

I wanted to protest, tell them I should be with her, ensuring the air continued strong. But before I drew in a breath to fuel my words, Azriel turned. His wings finally relaxed, as he grabbed me and we fell off the edge of the house. I didn't have time to be shocked, to prepare for the landing; the drop was over too soon. I stood on the ground in front of the door we had all walked through less than an hour ago. Azriel walked, and I followed, unsure what else to do. Silence bit at me as we walked through the streets. It was as if the whole town knew of what had happened, and no one dared to make a sound as we passed. I trailed behind Azriel as we crossed this ghost town alone. His wings flickered every now and then.

Finally, I saw a glimmer of where we might be heading. We walked through the streets until the smell of pine became unmistakeable. And as the streets straightened out, the tops of the trees came into view. Thoughts raced in my head, spiralling. Pine wasn't what I was used to, their harsh bark and spines, but it would be better than these heartless bricks. Evergreen forest would eventually give away to jungle, if I could only travel far enough, if I went in the right direction. I was so focused on regretting not studying a map earlier that I didn't notice Azriel flinching and clenching his jaw.

Just as we were on the edge of the forest, I closed my eyes and tipped my head to the oncoming wind. But instead of drifting onwards till the pine leaves slightly scratched my face, I was pulled sharply away. An invisible tug dragged me through a thin door of a crooked building that had gone unnoticed. My heart dropped into my stomach and I wondered if I would be able to fight him; truly fight him. Varies shades of grey welcomed me inside, the only colour was the assorted cushions, same as the pine forest outside. It was one room, small, but held a kitchen of marble tops and a long sofa facing a blackened fire unit. The smoke lingered on the fabric, the windows shut to the wind outside.

We didn't venture further, but Azriel veered left up a set of curving stairs. A chilled breeze became distinguishable as I followed his pulled in wings up these narrow stairs. _Why would he live somewhere he couldn't stretch his wings?_ I don't know why I thought this was his house, but as I climbed up behind him, I had no doubt this was his home. There was no hall or door at the top, it just opened out into another grey room. Black wood made up the long, thin mirror, small chest of drawers and the low bedframe in the centre of this cramped room. The carpet matched the sofa downstairs, and the bed sheets were the same shade of green as the cushions. The only new colour came from the brown fur throw casually placed on the end of the bed. Glass doors were open to nothing but the trees outside, a straight drop to the ground below.

Finally, Azriel turned to look at me. His face was solid, his eyes stirring with emotions swirling so quickly I couldn't decide which emotion I felt.

"You will stay here tonight." His voice was so clouded, it felt more forced than anything.

I scanned the room again, out of nervousness more than anything. "You said you wouldn't protect me." My drifting thoughts making their way to my mouth.

"What?"

"Nothing." Azriel was clearly as distracted from the moment as I was because he didn't press further.

Silence and heavy emotion pressed between us as we stared at anything but each other. He turned to the glass doors, like a wanderer in a dream, and began to pull them shut.

"Please." I begged. I was pulling the air from outside in, using it to stop the world from strangling me where I stood.

As if he was feeling the wind flowing through his feathers for the first time, he grew frigid, defying the movement.

"Why?" His question echoed with something deeper than anger.

I found myself dumbstruck, scrambling for an answer. It wasn't as if I made the conscious decision to use my magic, it didn't work like that. I found myself focusing at his shadows, their constant dancing in his outline.

"Your shadows, you control them?"

"Yes…"

"Completely?"

"… Are you saying you cannot control your magic?"

"No… Not quite." I drew in a breath and tried to focus my thought pattern to a coherent stream. "My magic is not just a thing I control; it is part of me. It flows through me, through my emotions. It is a reflex. And it can leave, if I cannot hold it." Azriel just stood there, brows pulled in so forcefully, multiple lines formed above them. "When I felt your…" I trailed, unable to explain, for I didn't understand myself, "I have felt like that once, and it burned me... I couldn't…"

I saw Azriel begin to move towards me, felt the wind rush in like a tidal wave; but they were hazed. A distant memory from a shut door I pushed and pushed against, willing with my heart would shut forever, became my only reality.

 _It was the first time it hurt; and this hurt so much. I had been warned of the pain of losing my maidenhood, but I had never felt that pain. I was warm, safe and open to my first lover. I didn't even bleed till the third time. This was the first time I had bled since._

 _I choked on the air in my throat; for the first time my magic had betrayed me. My pain and hurt of my mother's death had me spent. That was three years ago, but three years was nothing to an unending life; and I had been running ever since. I had travelled to other islands in that time but had never talked to anyone. I was alone, purely alone. Even my magic had left me._

 _My scream that never came died as it seared like wildfire between my legs. Hot liquid felt sticky on my thighs and tears fought to escape my prickly eyes._

 _He had cornered me, and I had not had a weapon. I had never needed one before that. Afterwards I learnt to carry a dagger._

 _When he eventually finished inside me, I crumbled on the brick floor. The pain hadn't gone with him. He flicked a rusty coin at my feet, laughed and walked away. My dress was stained with muddy puddle water and blood. But still I did not cry. I stayed there all night, my legs hurting so much I didn't dare stand._

 _Finally, the daylight fell on my face. It had crept down the side of the building and spilled onto me. I could feel its heat filling me, giving me strength. Despite the sun rising, there was no hint of the city around me stirring, waking. But through the towering, bending rooftops and into the narrow streets, I could feel the pale twitches of a breeze loaded with salt._

 _I stood, my legs cramping but they refused to fail me. It hurt to move my legs too close together so I had to walk with a slight waddle. I changed out of that dirty, wasted, torn, bloody rag that clung to my broken body. I washed away the dried blood flaking off my thighs and dressed in man's clothing, knowing now it would be safer. I left this city. I was done with travelling. I wanted to retreat to somewhere where no person would be; for was no longer alone, hanging onto that hope that sing like whispers through the air._

 _The bruises on my legs and wrists lasted for over a month._

I hadn't realised I was talking aloud until my parted lips pulled in again for air. They were dry and cracked, as were my tired eyes. It took me a second to remember the present. I had been staring at nothing. At some point my legs had given up and I had drifted backwards so now I sat on the bed. I moved my fingers through the brown fur beneath me, feeling comfort at the movement. Gently, I made a wind pass through the open double doors and brush through my hair, onto my face.

Azriel was on the bed as well, beside me. I felt him assess the situation. His wings and hand flickered, his face twitched; he was unsure whether he was allowed to touch me. I hadn't allowed myself to recall that memory. And now it hung in the air, along with the silence that seemed to follow us everywhere.

A shuddered clearing of the throat echoed through the room. "I will be downstairs if you need me." He stood awkwardly, his back to me. "There are clothes in the drawers, take whatever you need."

My hand drifted out and my fingertips touched a feather ever-so-lightly. He paused, but didn't stop me; Azriel only moved again once I had lowered my hand. He floated downstairs, leaving me alone.

Questions raced through my head but I pushed them aside. I moved to the drawers, briefly casting my gaze over the contents inside. As I expected, it was a dark mixture of black and grey. The idea of wearing Azriel's clothes made me very uncomfortable, but if I didn't, all I had was this dress and limited underwear; and I was not going to sleep in his bed naked. I pulled out a loose t-shirt and soft bottoms. I eventually swapped the bottoms for his boxers, as his clothes were much too long for me and I couldn't walk otherwise. Looking in the mirror, I turned and saw long slits in the back where his wings would fit. I couldn't help but wonder how he put on clothes. And I made a mental note to keep my back to the wall. The wind drew me to the doors, still wide open. I stared at the forest longingly, a million thoughts appeared and I pushed them away. I wanted to be free, but something held me back. I had debts I couldn't just run from, that wasn't who I was.

Fingers of smoke floated through the cold air, flowing up the stairway. I sneaked down and poked my head out to the room. Azriel was asleep, motionless, with the fire before him. I crept back upstairs and picked up the fur throw. He was fully dressed but his shoes had been kicked off. I placed the throw over him, delicately to ensure I didn't touch his wings and disturb him. The smoke was heavier down here, and I noticed his shadows shrink away from it. Softly, I sent a fresh breeze from upstairs down, to reduce the fire down to a comfortable warmth and washed the smoke away. As I turned to leave, his hand grabbed my own. I froze and turned, but he was not awake. I looked at his hand and held my breath as I truly saw his scars. They were unmistakably made by a fire, and snaked up his entire arm. The scream and smell of burning flesh rushed in my mind and it took me a couple of seconds to force them out. Rubbing a thumb over his hand and placing it down beside him, I retreated to his bedroom.

Getting under the covers helped me feel much safer, and I was glad I had decided not to close the window; although I had put up a barrier to stop any intruders. I couldn't help noticing Azriel's smell also wrapped around me and it settled my racing mind. I had so many questions about the events of tonight, trepidations about my sudden sense of loyalty and hope lost and gained. But my exhaustion caught up to me before I could analyse any of them.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

I awoke to the morning sun streaming in through the open doors, hitting the wall in front of me. It wasn't the bright rays of light that woke me, but the shudder in the air that finally pulled me out of semi-consciousness. The light footsteps would have usually caused me to jump out of bed and prepare for a fight, but the wind that drifted towards me made the outline of this person clearly identifiable. So instead, I sat up, my back pressed against the hard headboard as Azriel came into view. I fought the blush that threatened to heat my cheeks. Luckily, he clearly felt as awkward as I did. I wondered if that awkwardness between us would ever fade.

"Get ready."

"… I haven't got any clothes…"

Azriel turned slightly and motioned to a pile of fabric on his dresser.

"You went to the house?" I asked as it was clear he did not own woman's clothing. A quick nod confirmed my assumption. "How's Morrigan?"

"She's not there." And then he turned to leave down the stairs.

Tension I didn't realise I held in my back released and slumped back, sliding slightly down the bed. The amount I wanted to just slip back into bed and let the covers envelop me. Silently cursing my new found sense of loyalty, I dragged myself out of bed. A quick bathroom trip (more grey and forest green), I opted for a quick face wash in the sink to wipe away the sweat and kohl from the night before instead of stepping into the shower that was only separated by glass. I got dressed in the bathroom, but quickly as, although I knew Azriel wasn't going to walk in, there was no lock on the door. My hair was full of product from the night before but I smoothed it down and shoved it up, out of the way. I looked how I felt: dishevelled, insignificant and disposable.

Peeking my head around the door, I saw Azriel folding the throw I had put on him last night and placing it back down on the neat bedsheets. I gave a quiet cough as I entered behind him so I didn't startle him. He whipped his head around but relaxed as his brain caught up with his reflexes. I saw his eyes give my body a quick scan and felt a slight blush on the cheeks even though I knew it was only to assess that I could finally leave his house. He walked downstairs, out the door and all the way to Rhysand's house in silence.

The air was completely still once Cerridwen shut the door, making me want to hold my breath so I didn't disturb it. I subtly moved the air through the house, not enough to rustle the wings of Azriel or Cassian who sat waiting in the living room with Rhysand. Azriel had told me the truth: Morrigan was not here. I wanted to kick myself for being so naïve; I had no knowledge of where Morrigan's home might be, she always came here to get me dressed, I don't know how I ever considered us close. As I had since last night, I followed behind Azriel and into the living room. I tensed as I saw the furniture I had thrown aside when Azriel first found out about my magic. His hand twitched as if he was also remembering, regretting his decision to keep quiet. I gave a quick glance towards the floorboard that used to be the books home, unable to stop myself. But an intense rush of feeling in my stomach made me turn away and I made eye contact with Azriel. He gave me a look that meant _be careful_ and turned to his Lord.

Rhysand was standing in front of the fireplace, Cassian sitting outstretched on the sofa. Rhysand motioned Azriel to sit next to him, and although Cassian began to fold himself up to allow room, he stayed standing. There was no mistaking he wanted to be between me and Rhysand, whether to protect me from Rhysand or ensure I didn't attack his Lord I wasn't too sure. Either way, intense pressure increased on my chest as the air was laced with tension. I wanted to push it away and flood the room with flowing air but I fought against it.

"Katherina, you were allowed to stay here, in my court, in my house, under the pretence of sanctuary." Rhysand began, his voice hard and sure, "After last night's actions, it has been made clear you no longer need this sanctuary." _Is he setting me free?_ I felt my chest lighten slightly until, "As you broke the rules I set out for this arrangement when you attacked a member of my court, you owe me payment."

Azriel's hands tightened and my chest felt so heavy I found it hard to push out the word, "Payment?"

"Yes. As you broke my terms, the time you spent here cannot be classed as sanctuary, therefore, I am owed payment."

"What kind of payment?" I asked, feeling my magic building. Azriel could feel it too and raised his wing slightly as a warning.

"You have been training with my spymaster this past couple of months and he has praised your progress. And with your magical potential finally being shown to me, I had no doubt you are capable of more than you have been showing us. As such, I want you to enter the Spring Court and bring back information for me."

My head went back to the time I first arrived in this world and went to the Spring Court first. The air was so thick that it threatened to drown me and electricity bit at my skin. I never wanted to return there. But as I looked around the room, I knew this wasn't an optional task.

"What kind of information?" I asked, pleased with how steady my voice was.

"There is a woman staying with Lord Tamlin and I want the information she has gathered."

"A woman? Can I get any more details?"

"You will know her when you see her, and she will know who you are."

Rhysand turned around to face the fireplace and Azriel turned to face me. This conversation was over then. I couldn't help myself, though, I had to know, "You're sending me because you can't send anyone else and it's dangerous enough that you want to send someone you can afford to kill?"

"Why I am sending you is my business."

I took a step forward. Azriel shot out his wing to stop me from closing any further distance between us and Cassian stood up. Rhysand didn't turn around however as I said, "I don't like to be used." And I walked out.

Azriel followed after me, my own personal escort. But Nuala and Cerridwen stood in the hallway, blocking the exit.

"You leave in two hours. Make sure she is presentable."


	11. Chapter 11

Sorry for the huge delay, lots of stuff going on at the moment that is preventing me from writing.

Due to the upcoming release of the third book in this series, A Court of Wings and Ruin, I have decided to change my original intention of not changing the storyline of the books. From this point on, only the first two books will be cannon for this fanfiction, and I will be developing the storyline that is currently been told. This is because I have a lot of plans for this fanfiction and Katherina, and I feel I can only achieve that by carrying on myself and not adapting to the chances that are sure to come. I hope you will stay tuned for more soon!

* * *

CHAPTER ELEVEN

I stepped out of the darkness and into a blinding light. Almost immediately doubling over, I braced my hands on my thighs. Breathing in this new air, scented with fresh grass and blooming flowers, I settled my stomach. I felt the electricity bite at my skin but pretended not to notice, willing the hair on my arms to flatten. It would not surprise me if the High Lord of this Court was already aware of my presence here and I had figured feigning ignorance would be the best way to proceed.

Surrounded again by lush trees I should have been overjoyed, but whispers filtered towards me on the wind: a warning. Trying to ignore the pinch of the corset on my rips, I moved towards the oldest tree I could find. Laying my hands on its thick, rough bark and rustling the leaves above me; its reply was hard to detect, but from within a thick shield, the tree knew of many dangers in this land.

I placed my back against the tree as I heard a snap of a branch. Instinct told me to hide myself in the shadows cast by the large expanse of branches from above, but I willed my magic to disobey; there would be no use hiding from the people I was looking for.

The footsteps came closer, and I narrowed my eyes to make out the shape ahead. A slender woman came forth, unclothed and dripping wet. Staying cautious, I made slow movements towards her. She stopped dead when she saw me approaching, but didn't appear scared. As I continued forward, I noticed she was no ordinary woman: her skin was a shade of grey glistening in the sunlight and her eyes were completely black. A few feet across from each other, I stopped as well.

She cocked her head, examining me as I was her. Her neck had distinctive slits in them, covered mostly by long, black hair that snaked down to her waist. Her ears were pointed, but to three different points with a webbing between them. Her flat feet and large hands were also webbed, a thin piece of light grey skin less mottled than the rest of her body was attached between each digit. I had seen enough of sea creatures to know she did not belong on land. She breathed in the air in quick huffs through two slits where her nose should have been.

Slowly, I raised my hand to the long pin holding part of my hair up. I had been allowed a quick bath, but after had that, I been put through over an hour of being pulled and tugged around. Dressed in a tight, puffy dress that reminded me of a fashion my mother had been into about 400 years ago. I supposed each court had a different cultural fashion and this one was constricting and ridiculous. My long hair had been curled and pinned to my head, causing it to be a heavy weight on the top of my head. I released a long golden pin from my restrained hair and let the front section fall down. Like the woman before me, it fell at my hips; a ginger strand mimicking her dark hair.

She relaxed as she understood my gesture and bowed. I put the pin into my corset and bowed back. She turned away and returned to where she had come from. I felt it wasn't an invitation and watched her walk away. _I still have a lot to learn about this world._

Turning my own way, I followed the sun for a while. As it passed noon, I began to feel unsure of my tactic. Surely by now, the Lord of this land should have come to investigate the intruder. Maybe I should have taken Rhysand's instruction and appeared at the front door, although that felt too confrontational to be considered friendly. Thinking back to how he had reacted to me appearing in his house, I couldn't imagine it would be wise to do the same thing twice.

Aside from the woman that appeared earlier, I had seen no sign of life. The forests were silent, a sign that this place has seen much death. It left me feeling unnerved and wanting out.

At last, when I had reached the edge of the treeline, the familiar sound of four hooves echoed across the plain. Pinching my cheeks quickly, I stood there waiting for the person riding the horse to approach. Atop a brown mare with blunt eyes and a white spot on her back leg, there was a high Fae dressed in clothing faintly resembling military uniform. _My escort has finally arrived._

"You there, state your intention."

The voice was not as firm as I had expected from the man who had obviously seen combat. His scarred face drew across a false eye and his hair was a similar shade to mine, if not darker and dull, dotting his face in an unshaved stubble. His eye defined his face more than his cheekbones, a metal coloured gold to represent his wealth. Despite his clearly authoritative position and handsome face, I couldn't help feeling his appearance was messy.

"My name is Katherina. I am here to visit the Spring Court," bowing in the process.

"Visit?" His mare slowed to a stop in front of me as he gripped the sword by his hip.

"Yes. Is that not allowed?"

"What court do you come from?" Clearly dismissing my question, his eyes narrowed.

"I belong to no court." I had resolved myself to lie as little as possible, the opposite tactic Azriel had advised me.

"Do you have any weapons on you?"

I held up my hands and turned on the spot, showing I was clearly unarmed. I had reluctantly left without even a small dagger strapped to my leg. Azriel had tried to get Rhysand to reconsider, but he failed and had only left me with a sympathetic look of understanding.

"Any weapons I cannot see?"

"Would you like me to lift up my skirts?" I surprised myself with how flirtatious that came out. I held back my own disbelief as he fumbled a cough in response.

Finally, he moved his hand away from his sword and offered an open palm towards me. "Would you like an escort to the main house?"

I bowed slightly, figuring it would be expected, and smiled the kindest smile I could muster. "Yes, if you would be so kind."

I placed much of my weight on him as I climbed onto the horse, feigning an inexperience. I wanted to test his strength, and he didn't waiver. I positioned myself behind him, my multiple skirts causing a relatively large amount of rearranging. Once I had settled into the saddle, I thanked him again.

"Am I allowed a name?"

"Lucien."

It had been hundreds of years since I had ridden a horse, before my mother died, and I pitied the poor girl that had to carry our weight. Every time Lucien kicked her side or pulled the reins, I felt my stomach tighten. Internally, I made a promise to her that I would repay her kindness.

We travelled across fields, only broken by the occasional treeline. Lucien didn't stop for a break despite the horse carrying us for over an hour. I almost requested he stop, until I saw what was undoubtedly our destination. Even from this distance it was clearly classed as a mansion. Its lands were immense and the large building was encased in large stone walls. Between us and that however, was a very large forest. Sighing, I hoped there was a glistering river for the horse below us soon.

"You are very quiet." Lucien spoke as the foliage spanned above us.

There seemed to be more life here, with the odd bird song or branch snap. Maybe it was more protected being so close to the mansion. I noticed however, that every time there was even a slightly strong breeze from the wrong direction, Lucien would flinch; this place was far from safe.

"You haven't invited me into a topic of conversation." I answered, regretting my rather blunt response.

But instead of being put off, the man in front of me laughed. "I guess you are correct. What topic would you like to discuss?"

"I thought you were offering that yourself."

"I guess I was," he considered, "You said you aren't from any court, what exactly does that mean?"

"It means on this visit I am not representing any court. So this visit is more a personal adventure than a political one." It wasn't exactly true but not completely untrue, I was truly interested in learning more about this Court for my own personal reasons. "Is that rare?"

"In the current climate, I am afraid so."

I wanted desperately to ask what 'the current climate' was, but was worried my lack of knowledge on this world's politics would cause more unwanted attention than I should be attracting.

"I refuse to allow unrest to interrupt my plans. I brought this dress especially for this visit." Although he could not see, I gestured down my body and kicked my leg out to show off my skirts.

"It is a very beautiful dress; it becomes you nicely." He said, although it was more of a trained response then an actual compliment.

"Thank you." I said, attempting to cower slightly and nod my head, as if to hide a blush.

The journey passed on with more idle chit chat. Nothing that was too personal or taxing, more like our mutual interest in the trees and rabbits. Time passed slowly, but that may have just been my anticipation of what was to come. I had only brought up the subject of the High Lord of the Spring Court once and Lucien's demeanour became immediately defensive, quickly diverting us to a new topic.

The end of the forest happened almost so gradually it blurred together with the stone walls. The large gates opened as Lucien brought us forward, and I shoved down my fear. I had a debt to pay and I was not one to be intimidated so easily. The stones crunched under the poor horse's hooves beneath us. The gardens were a sight to behold, a mix of flowers that were almost overpowering if not for the greenery scattered throughout. It would have been beautiful, if not for the clearly organised pattern it was laid out in; there was nothing natural here.

We stopped in the centre of the path, the bricks of this huge castle looming over us and casting a shadow that could only be described as foreboding. Lucien got off swiftly, planting his feet firmly on the ground below. He reached for my hips, and I hid my sudden desire to push him away as I swung my leg over the saddle. Quickly ruffling my fingers in the straw mane of the girl that had carried us all this way, I remembered my promise to her as I dismounted. The stones below made more noise than I expected.

"Welcome to the Spring Court, Miss Katherina." Lucien said in a high, proud voice. I couldn't help, however, to detect a crack in his voice he kept muffled.

"Thank you, I am sure I shall enjoy my visit here thoroughly."

A man dressed in a smart suit grabbed the reigns of the horse and guided her away. I allowed myself a silent glance towards her, noting the direction of the stables, before returning to the double doors in front of me. Lucien offered me his arm and I took it gracefully. With the sound of crunching stones underfoot all too loud in my ears, I took a deep breath and prepared to pay off my debt quickly and quietly. Then I could escape this cursed place and be free once again.


End file.
